Because they take things literally
I mean, it's not hard.
But I love it when the sparks fly.
They're in a polyhammerous relationship.
Because they photosympathize.
After all, all conversations will end on a 10-4.
It’s about time...
I said whatever. It's what it's.
I really think Disney Villains are misunderstood. You have to respect how they pursue their passions. They usually have henchmen or “employees” so I’m guessing there’s a compensation system in place and they are managing a budget to fund all their evil campaigns. And what business model did they have to follow? Was there an Ursula before Ursula? I don’t think so. These villains are business visionaries and they deserve such respect.
...and right now, I literally Kant even.
He suddenly started talking in a Hyundai Accent.
- Dad jokes are not made to make you laugh they are only meant for dad(s)
- the louder the groan the better the joke.
- A pun and a dad joke ARE NOT THE SAME!!
- Having children gives you credibility not the right to tell dad jokes.
- Not all bad jokes are dad jokes but ALL dad jokes are bad jokes.
It's all becoming clear to me now
I'm away at university and my dad calls me up while I'm doing last minute homework:
Dad: What are you up to?
Me: Just finishing an essay about Dickens' Hard Times for class. I'm really busy, can I call you back in a couple hours?
Dad: Oh, that sounds like a hard time!
Me: (Sarcastically) Well it's not the MOST fun I've ever had.
Dad: (long pause followed by a sigh) Are you having a hard time with the joke?
Me: No, (chuckles) I get it dad... but I've got to go!
Dad: You sound like you're having a hard time.
Me: Dad, I got it.
Dad: (scoff) Ahhh, I'm just giving you a hard time!
Me: Dad.... I've got so much work to do.
Dad: I'll let you go then; glad to be of help during this hard time. Good luck on your essay! (hangs up)
Mom(butting in): I think it's a Word processor...
Keep in mind English is my mom's second language and used to not understand puns or dry humor at all. I want to say I'm proud but I'm not sure that's how it works..
It's pointless.
They had plenty of vitamin sea.
It makes me sound more photosynthesis.
I think it's pretty hot.
&~€’eofij£>~>£€£
I said, “That makes two of us.”
But someone else said it was 1 in 5. So which is it?
I wonder what she’s up to now.
Then I realised, it was on paws.
It just doesn't add up.
Do you think it's stumped?
I think that's Booleshit.
Too much MUMbling
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
He said, "What do you mean by that?"
They asked me to please Hold. 💎🤲
I thought dieting was a piece of cake.
He ate nothing but a hound dog.
Thank you, thank you very much.....
My 2 year old has cereal in her snack cup and just showed me that there was a piece of cereal in her sleeve. I said, "Looks like you got some tricks up your sleeve." GUESS WHAT KIND OF CEREAL SHE WAS EATING!.....IT WAS TRIX!
Edit: Thanks for my first gold!
- People who can count
- People who can’t
An octagon means stop, the triangle means slow down...
I told her to get under it!
I said, “No, it’s as easy as 1,1,2,3.
I didn't understand the gravity of the situation.
Edit: thanks for the awards, kind strangers!
Gamora: "I am going to die surrounded by the biggest idiots in the galaxy."
It's pointless.
It's a total ripoff!
Because they take things literally.
Because they always take things literally.
Kleptomaniacs don’t really understand puns ... they take everything literally.
They take everything literally
Because they take things literally.
Me: That makes two of us.
They always take things, literally.
It just doesn’t add up.
