Why can't your fingers agree unanimously?

Because the thumbs always oppose.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What is it called when the board of a company unanimously votes against?

A firm no.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Waphex
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Not a joke, just a thank you.

But seriously, thank you to everyone on this sub. I end my class periods with a joke of the day every day and I usually take them from here. There is never a day where the students don't unanimously sigh at the punch line!

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ms_Business
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Got into a fight at the pub.

It was against my balance.

After 12 rounds the decision was unanimous.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend's dad is a coffee enthusiast, and also a huge proponent of the dadjoke

Her: "Dad why do you use the other grinder instead of the one built into the coffee machine?"

Dad explains that the other grinder is better because it's a burr grinder

Her: "What's different about a burr grinder?"

Dad: "It's really cold"

confused pause

Dad: "BRRRRR!!"

unanimous eye roll

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zoidbergular
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2016
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.