Dad's at it again. Borderline unacceptably dad-joking the Denny's waitress.

family walks into Denny's

Waitress: "Welcome to Denny's! Just five of you today?"

Dad: "Yes, four adults, one child."

Waitress: "Alright, would you like a kids menu today?"

Dad: "No thanks, I just had three. They were delicious."

-_-

👍︎ 1k
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📅︎ Dec 18 2014
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I like skipping.
👍︎ 4k
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👤︎ u/waterli
📅︎ Jan 04 2020
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I ran out of bread for my grilled-cheese today. This is unacceptable.

I'm Lack Toast Intolerant.

👍︎ 11
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👤︎ u/NuArcher
📅︎ Nov 29 2017
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Unacceptable to laugh at your own jokes UNLESS they're dad jokes.

Walking out of a cafe behind my lady friend. She tells me to close the door behind me after reading a sign requesting so. I'm already out the door and past the point of no return. The door is ever so slightly cracked open. "Eh, closed enough."

Then I shout laughed to make sure she got it.

👍︎ 2
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📅︎ Sep 10 2014
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Seven days without a pun...

makes one weak.

👍︎ 84
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📅︎ Jul 25 2019
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After winning the game I decided to throw the ball into the crowd like they do on TV.

Apparently, that's unacceptable in bowling.

👍︎ 33
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📅︎ Dec 03 2019
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I quit my job at the farm because my boss wanted to pay me in fruits and vegetables instead of cash.

The celery was unacceptable.

👍︎ 21
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📅︎ May 09 2019
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An old man and his lawn

An older gentleman had an herb garden, one of the herbs that he had planted was thyme. The thyme took really well to the climate and environment of his lawn, and began to extend past his garden, into his lawn. Now, this was unacceptable as he prided himself on having a pristine lawn. He decides he needs to reign in the problem and heads to the nearby nursery to find a solution.

He gets there, but wants to make sure he finds the right product. After about 30 minutes, one of the customer service associates notices he's spent a lot of time looking around the herbicides and whatnot. Thinking the man has a weed problem, he offers the following assistance.

"Hey can I help you find a weed-killer? You've been on this asile awhile, and I can definitely speed up the process."

"No thanks," the man responds, "I've got some thyme to kill."

👍︎ 10
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📅︎ Jun 15 2018
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