Whenever I go fur trapping...
I bring my beaver cleaver.
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︎ Jun 28 2020
You have fallen into his trap
π︎ 755
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︎ Oct 19 2020
Lawyer says, my client is trapped in a penny
π︎ 8
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︎ Jan 16 2021
So the doctor sat me down and gently revealed to me me that my child is a boy trapped in a girls body...
...Until my wife gives birth that is. Only three more months to go!
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︎ Jul 22 2020
Whatβs the best way to trap a polar bear?
First drill a hole in the ice and line it with green peas. When the polar bear comes to take a pea, kick him in the icehole!
(Told to me by my dad at dinner this evening)
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︎ Jan 05 2021
How do you trap a drum kit?
π︎ 17
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︎ Dec 18 2020
I was once a boy trapped in a womanβs body
π︎ 1k
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︎ Jun 29 2020
I just saw a couple guys in white face act like they were caught in a trap and can't walk out.
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︎ Nov 21 2020
What do you get if your lovers soul was trapped in a sword for all eternity?
π︎ 2k
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︎ May 04 2020
What kind of lure do you use to trap popular people?
π︎ 50
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︎ Jul 30 2020
When I was younger I felt like a man trapped in a womanβs body.
π︎ 19
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︎ Sep 12 2020
I tripped over my wifeβs bra...
π︎ 70
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︎ Jan 20 2021
Theyβve locked down Liverpool John Lennon Airport and all the passengers are trapped inside
Imagine, all the people...
π︎ 23
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︎ Jul 13 2020
I used to feel like a man trapped inside a woman's body
π︎ 79
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︎ May 21 2020
A fly and a flea were trapped in a flue...
βLetβs flee!β Said the fly,
βLetβs fly!β Said the flea,
And they flew through a flaw in the flue...
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︎ Jun 15 2020
A patient bursts into his therapist's office and shouts, "Doc, you gotta help me. I keep dreaming that I'm trapped in a deck of cards!"
The therapist turns from his current patient and says, "I'm busy now. I'll deal with you later."
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︎ Mar 09 2020
DO NOT spell the word "part" backwards. It's a trap.
π︎ 7k
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︎ May 30 2019
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I donβt what is so hard about it. Iβm a trapped peas artist.
π︎ 7k
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︎ Jul 15 2020
What is the opposite of a βBooby Trapβ?
π︎ 9
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︎ May 18 2020
My new house has a lot of trap doors.
During my walkthrough it was a floor gone conclusion.
π︎ 9
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︎ Jul 01 2020
There was a fire in the illegal weed farm which trapped some cows.
The steaks have never been higher.
π︎ 14
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︎ Mar 29 2020
A dyslexic man walked into a bra
π︎ 2
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︎ Dec 18 2020
My wife said, "You act like a detective too much, I want to split up."
"Good idea!" I replied. "We can cover more ground that way!"
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︎ May 31 2020
In recent news, a giant had a troubling discovery when he returned home from work.
After discovering he'd been given a parking ticket, the giant exclaimed in disappointment as he approached his house. This startled a burglar inside, causing him to flee from the property but not before trapping his stubby digit in the door, causing him to leave blood at the scene. Thankfully, the giant's powerful nasal abilities allowed him to aid police as he was able to detected the exact nationality and gender of the robber in question. When interviewed, the giant simplified the story for us by saying,
"Fee, Fie, Foe, Thumb, I smell the blood of an English Man."
π︎ 4
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︎ Nov 14 2020
I wanted to know how to build big muscular shoulders. I tried asking a guy with big traps at the gym, but I still have no answer...
...every time I ask him, he just shrugs.
π︎ 7
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︎ May 03 2020
"Ho, ho, ho," the jolly bastard mused, unaware I'd been slinking in the shadows for days, ready to unleash my revenge. I'd memorized his patterns, followed his every move, and had set the perfect trap. Down the chimney, ensnared by my noose, and left hanging above the fireplace; I got what I wanted.
π︎ 12
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︎ Mar 05 2020
If thereβs one thing I learned over the years, its thisβ¦
When your wife starts a conversation with βCorrect me if Iβm wrongβ¦β you just smile and agree. Donβt correct her, itβs a trap.
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︎ Dec 05 2020
A princess wants to choose her future husband. Her engineers create a maze full of deadly traps. After the struggle, four princes survive. The first three have both their hands cut off. The fourth one still has one hand left. Which one will she choose?
She will chose the fourth prince: he's the most hand-some.
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︎ Feb 10 2020
Two caterpillars are escaping a spider...
They climb up a branch and get to the edge, but realize they are now trapped.
"Hold on tight!" says the first caterpillar, and he quickly chews through the branch. It snaps and they begin to fall, but he grabs two protruding twigs and steers the branch through the air with grace and finesse.
"That's amazing!" says the second caterpillar. "How in the world are you doing that?!"
The first caterpillar scoffs. "Am I the only one in the whole damn forest who knows how to drive a stick?"
π︎ 173
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︎ Oct 26 2020
What do you call Kevin sealing the joints of a booby trap?
π︎ 6
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︎ Dec 29 2019
Me and my dad used to go out and trap together. I would put the bait in, and he would set them. Everytime i did, we got something.
I guess you could call me a master-baiter.
π︎ 2
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︎ Feb 13 2020
Lawyer: My client is trapped inside a penny!
Judge: Stuck in a penny?
Lawyer: Yes, heβs in a cent!
π︎ 104
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︎ May 01 2019
you have walked right into his trap!
π︎ 24
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︎ Jul 08 2019
CAUTION: THIS POST IS A BLUE BEE TRAP!
π︎ 12
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︎ Mar 30 2019
Mouse Trap
π︎ 43
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︎ Dec 30 2018
For a while Harry Houdini used trap doors in every act.
It was a stage he was going through.
π︎ 88
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︎ Apr 20 2019
Will feels trapped inside his operating system, unable to make non-deterministic decisions.
Will free will free Will?
π︎ 11
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︎ Oct 13 2019
My wife took off her shirt and bra during an argument where I was winning
π︎ 306
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︎ Jun 27 2020
When I was younger, I felt like a man trapped in a woman's body ...
π︎ 12k
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︎ May 21 2019
My son is a man trapped in a woman's body.
π︎ 161
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︎ Mar 08 2020
My son is a man trapped into a woman's body
π︎ 799
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︎ Dec 13 2019
My son is a man trapped in a womanβs body.
Heβll be born in February.
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︎ Dec 12 2019
Tripped over my wife's bra.
π︎ 2k
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︎ Aug 07 2020
I confessed to my family today that, βWhen I was younger, I felt like a man trapped inside a womanβs body."
π︎ 186
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︎ Jul 11 2019
Dont spell part backwards
π︎ 55
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︎ Oct 11 2020
I used to be a man trapped in a woman's body
π︎ 1k
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︎ Oct 06 2018
When I was young I used to feel like a man trapped in a womenβs body...
π︎ 51
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︎ May 28 2019
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