Whenever I go fur trapping...

I bring my beaver cleaver.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/envengpe
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
You have fallen into his trap
πŸ‘︎ 755
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HamadRajput
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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Lawyer says, my client is trapped in a penny

He is in a cent

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/atharvanaik
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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So the doctor sat me down and gently revealed to me me that my child is a boy trapped in a girls body...

...Until my wife gives birth that is. Only three more months to go!

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the best way to trap a polar bear?

First drill a hole in the ice and line it with green peas. When the polar bear comes to take a pea, kick him in the icehole!

(Told to me by my dad at dinner this evening)

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/megsie72
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you trap a drum kit?

Use a snare

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flazdude
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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I was once a boy trapped in a woman’s body

Then I was born

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisispeculiar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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I just saw a couple guys in white face act like they were caught in a trap and can't walk out.

Suspicious mimes.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FuriouslySentient
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get if your lovers soul was trapped in a sword for all eternity?

A bae-blade.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SquigglesMcJiggly
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of lure do you use to trap popular people?
πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nimja_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
When I was younger I felt like a man trapped in a woman’s body.

But then I was born.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Theunkillable
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I tripped over my wife’s bra...

It was a booby trap

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/3cansofbeans
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
They’ve locked down Liverpool John Lennon Airport and all the passengers are trapped inside

Imagine, all the people...

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to feel like a man trapped inside a woman's body

Then I was born

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AssortedCrap
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
🚨︎ report
A fly and a flea were trapped in a flue...

β€œLet’s flee!” Said the fly,

β€œLet’s fly!” Said the flea,

And they flew through a flaw in the flue...

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mekkanik
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A patient bursts into his therapist's office and shouts, "Doc, you gotta help me. I keep dreaming that I'm trapped in a deck of cards!"

The therapist turns from his current patient and says, "I'm busy now. I'll deal with you later."

πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
🚨︎ report
DO NOT spell the word "part" backwards. It's a trap.
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_asstronaut_
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.

I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beanimus0829
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the opposite of a β€œBooby Trap”?

Party boob

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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My new house has a lot of trap doors.

During my walkthrough it was a floor gone conclusion.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
🚨︎ report
There was a fire in the illegal weed farm which trapped some cows.

The steaks have never been higher.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Team_Pineapple
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
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A dyslexic man walked into a bra

uh-oh

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rohilbxx
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife said, "You act like a detective too much, I want to split up."

"Good idea!" I replied. "We can cover more ground that way!"

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
In recent news, a giant had a troubling discovery when he returned home from work.

After discovering he'd been given a parking ticket, the giant exclaimed in disappointment as he approached his house. This startled a burglar inside, causing him to flee from the property but not before trapping his stubby digit in the door, causing him to leave blood at the scene. Thankfully, the giant's powerful nasal abilities allowed him to aid police as he was able to detected the exact nationality and gender of the robber in question. When interviewed, the giant simplified the story for us by saying,

"Fee, Fie, Foe, Thumb, I smell the blood of an English Man."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfyfancylads
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I wanted to know how to build big muscular shoulders. I tried asking a guy with big traps at the gym, but I still have no answer...

...every time I ask him, he just shrugs.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mihaaal2481
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
🚨︎ report
"Ho, ho, ho," the jolly bastard mused, unaware I'd been slinking in the shadows for days, ready to unleash my revenge. I'd memorized his patterns, followed his every move, and had set the perfect trap. Down the chimney, ensnared by my noose, and left hanging above the fireplace; I got what I wanted.

A Christmas stalking.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeromocles
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
If there’s one thing I learned over the years, its this…

When your wife starts a conversation with β€œCorrect me if I’m wrong…” you just smile and agree. Don’t correct her, it’s a trap.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
A princess wants to choose her future husband. Her engineers create a maze full of deadly traps. After the struggle, four princes survive. The first three have both their hands cut off. The fourth one still has one hand left. Which one will she choose?

She will chose the fourth prince: he's the most hand-some.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danielsoft1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Two caterpillars are escaping a spider...

They climb up a branch and get to the edge, but realize they are now trapped.

"Hold on tight!" says the first caterpillar, and he quickly chews through the branch. It snaps and they begin to fall, but he grabs two protruding twigs and steers the branch through the air with grace and finesse.

"That's amazing!" says the second caterpillar. "How in the world are you doing that?!"

The first caterpillar scoffs. "Am I the only one in the whole damn forest who knows how to drive a stick?"

πŸ‘︎ 173
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call Kevin sealing the joints of a booby trap?

Macaulay Caulkin!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aitchnyu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Me and my dad used to go out and trap together. I would put the bait in, and he would set them. Everytime i did, we got something.

I guess you could call me a master-baiter.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schnitzel_voughn
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Lawyer: My client is trapped inside a penny!

Judge: Stuck in a penny?

Lawyer: Yes, he’s in a cent!

πŸ‘︎ 104
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πŸ‘€︎ u/seems_legit_man
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
🚨︎ report
you have walked right into his trap!
πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WALLLMARTTTT
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
🚨︎ report
CAUTION: THIS POST IS A BLUE BEE TRAP!
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WoodyGoodman
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Mouse Trap
πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/100kUpvotesOrBust
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
🚨︎ report
For a while Harry Houdini used trap doors in every act.

It was a stage he was going through.

πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Will feels trapped inside his operating system, unable to make non-deterministic decisions.

Will free will free Will?

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shpongolian
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife took off her shirt and bra during an argument where I was winning

It was a booby trap.

πŸ‘︎ 306
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
When I was younger, I felt like a man trapped in a woman's body ...

Then I was born

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BadPuppyZA
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
🚨︎ report
My son is a man trapped in a woman's body.

He'll be born in April

πŸ‘︎ 161
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My son is a man trapped into a woman's body

He'll be born next month

πŸ‘︎ 799
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Salted_Porkchops
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
My son is a man trapped in a woman’s body.

He’ll be born in February.

πŸ‘︎ 166
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Tripped over my wife's bra.

It was a booby trap.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I confessed to my family today that, β€œWhen I was younger, I felt like a man trapped inside a woman’s body."

"Then I was born.”

πŸ‘︎ 186
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Dont spell part backwards

Its a trap

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to be a man trapped in a woman's body

Then I was born.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
🚨︎ report
When I was young I used to feel like a man trapped in a women’s body...

Then I was born

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/atumanov55
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
🚨︎ report

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