I hate train puns.
They eventually run off the rails.
[request] Train pun for birthday message.
Trying to write a nice birthday message to my grandfather who is turning 80 and loves Trains. Any suggestions?
Friend and I saw "Snowpiercer" last night. Spent the next hour and a half barraging him with train puns.
How does a train eat it's dinner?
It chew chews it!?
Credit: My 3 year old, who validated the joke through my 6 year old.
Why did the man rob the train?
I'm not sure, but I bet he had a loco motive.
Does a train have teeth?
Then how can it choo choo?
Complements of my 6 year old.
What's the best way to get Pikachu onto a train?
I was really embarrassed when my wife caught me playing with my son’s train set by myself. In a moment of panic, I threw a bedsheet over it.
I think I managed to cover my tracks.
Waiting for my train to Greenwich...
What should I do in the meantime?
Where did all the G.I. Joe fighters train?
Train derails in New Mexico, killing 23 people
It must have had a locomotive.
If 1+1=2 and 2+0=2, what does Train+Whistle equal?
How does one train hear another train coming?
My boss said to me "You're the worst train driver ever! How many have you derailed this year?!"
I said "I don't know... it's hard to keep track"
I got fired from my job as a train operator and my job as a lightning rod.
I guess I'm just a bad conductor.
There was a murder on a train do you know if the suspect was caught?
No, he covered his tracks.
(Thought of this this morning go easy on me!)
Did you hear about the new trains drivers first run?
It went off without a hitch
Why don’t trees use the train?
They can never find a root.
Did you hear about that guy who got run over by a steam train?
What a train ride of emotions finding a neglected train but also a quality pun
Driving over a crossing, I told my son a train had just went through
A monkey was sitting on the train tracks waiting for a train.
A monkey was sitting on the train tracks waiting for a train. When a train ran over its tail the monkey said, "It won't be long now!"
What does the masticating train say?
What do you call a train made out of bubble gum
I want to train a dog to make bank deposits
Training them to make withdrawals just seems a bit too far fetched.
I got into a fight with my Mexican neighbor and he started to make train noises while holding a gun
He said "I'm going to choo choo"
I think my puppy might be a train...
all she does is chew, chew, chew.
I'm going to make a website that is just videos and pictures of trains and trolleys.
A psychotic criminal stole a train. He said the reason was the voices in the head told him to.
What do you call someone who looks just like you on a passing train?
How does a train eat human food?
What did the Muslim train engineer say when his child asked why a creature so perplexing as the platypus would be created?
The FBI was shocked to uncover the inspirations of the train collecting serial killer.
I wanted to crack a joke on trains. I could not EXPRESS it well
A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train-load of terrapins
I thought "That's a turtle disaster".
With no buses, trains, or taxis in sight, and my wife going into labor, I figured the only solution was a piggyback.
But she refused to give me one.
What would you call an electric train in Japan?
Did you hear about the man who hid his train set?
He was good a covering his tracks
The pessimist sees a dark tunnel. The optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel. The realist sees a freight train.
The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks.
It must be really easy being a train engineer
All you have to do is stay on track
My wife caught me playing with my son's train set. I was so embarrassed, I threw a bedsheet over it.
I think I managed to cover my tracks.
When my wife found me playing with my son’s train set, I was so embarrassed that I threw a bedsheet over it.
I think I managed to cover my tracks.
My boss said to me, “You are the worst train operator ever. How many trains have you derailed in the past year?”
I said, “I’m not sure. It’s so hard to keep track.”
My boss said to me, “You’re the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?”
I said, “I’m not sure; it’s hard to keep track.”
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