A man walks into a restaurant and orders a hamburger. Upon receiving the burger, the man says to the burger, β€œBurger, can you help me with my urinary tract infection?”.

β€œNo”, replies the burger, β€œbut I can tell you you’re going to need an umbrella later.”

β€œOh, sorry”, said the man, β€œI thought you were a meaty urologist”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CMoy1980
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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The gastrointestinal tract is the real YouTube.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/queenettt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
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What do you call a fat doctor that specializes in urinary tracts?

A meteorologist.

Girlfriend told me to stop.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flipnotyk
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2016
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After a test on the Digestive tract.... imgur.com/nNFIrvM
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AdawgChaydawg
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2013
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Why was the miner so determined to complete digging on a second plot of land?

Because he had one tract mined.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EurassesDragon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
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How do you greet a sector that's full of minuses?

'Sup, tract?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/welt-scherz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
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Got dad-joked in my graduate Histology class.

The professor was discussing anatomy of the gastrointestinal tract, specifically the mouth/neck.

"The esophagus is about 10-11 inches long. If it were 12 we'd call it a foot."

Then he went off on a tangent about his friend in college who could stick a hot dog all the way down his throat. School is weird.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bears_and_beets
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2014
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My Dad at the hospital.

For a little bit of background information, my dad suffers from multiple system atrophy and got a high fever, which turned out to be from a bad urinal tract infection. He has been at the hospital for almost 2 weeks now, and it is really hard on our family, but he is doing his best to get better and throws this small dad joke to lighten me and my brothers day.

A Speech Therapist comes every day to help him focus on his muscles in his face to help him swallow and speak clearer with simple gestures of noises and deep breathing. As she was done with his exercises, she said to him "Can you say goodbye, have a nice day! in a long sentence?" (As in one breath with no pauses). My dad then takes a look at me and my brother and says in his slurred voice "goodbye... have a nice day... in a long sentence".

The Speech Therapist just smiled and shook her head while we facepalmed...

Thumbs up Dad, I know you will come home soon!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Neil_to_me
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2015
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Accidentally dad joked my doctor...

When talking about some upper digestive tract issues I have had he told me that he may want me to get a Esophagogastroduodenoscopy. My eyes went wide and I whistled before saying "That sure is a mouthful".

He sort of snorted and said "You could say that" and it took me a moment before I realized what I had said.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Welpe
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2014
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What do you call a hamburger that studies the urinary tract?

A Meaty Urologist

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2017
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