At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. There is no Time.”
[need for help] Pun experts, share the best pun you know about academia/professors/education/writing for grants. Any help deeply appreciated!
EDIT: We plan to place it on the mug as a gift, so it should be relatively short
What did the maths professor do when he became constipated?
He worked it out with a pencil.
My professor asked me why did I put only one of the three authors as a reference.
I said that I didn’t feel tempted to do so et. al
My calculus professor was 16 minutes late for the first class, 8 minutes late for the second, and 4 minutes late for the third.
At this rate, he will never be there on time.
My anatomy class is currently covering the skeletal system and my professor is being unreasonable with the amount of material we need to know so I made an office hour appointment to speak with him.
You can bet your ass I have a bone to pick with him.
My professor puts jokes on the board before class
I still remember the moment when my math professor told us what the square root of -1 was.
To make extra money, my professor forces all the students to buy his book at the beginning of the term.
I just got off the phone with a professor in China. He says it's not worth getting Covid-19
As they are expecting to release Covid-20 Pro in September.
After the events of Avengers: Endgame, Professor Hulk opened a custom woodworking business
It was called Bruce Banisters
My statistics professor told us that the larger the sample size, the more reliable are your averages.
The N’s justify the means.
The professor had used the entire blackboard for the lecture
The blackboard is now chalk-full of information
Chemistry professor: It is impossible to be both acidic and basic at the same time.
White girl in the back: Hold my pumpkin spice latte.
Did you hear about the professor afraid of negative numbers?
He stops at nothing to avoid them
Did your hear about the professors that went to an island resort to discuss research paper titles?
It was a topical vacation
I was in class today and the professor's last name was Sullivan. After class I went to ask him...
"So do you want us to call you Prof S, or...?"
He replied, "Yes, but don't say it like a robot..."
Which professor was good enough to win the Nobel Prize in Chemistry in 2019?
what was the Nutty Professor's job?
What did the professor say when his students wanted to hunt male deer before the first day of class?
"Don't get the hart before the course!"
Professor just dad-joked the class on the first day
So, our professor was calling out names for attendance:
Professor: "Holly Brown?"
Holly: "Here."
Professor: "Xu Shuo?"
silence
Professor: "I guess we can all say that he's a no-Shuo...."
Facepalms and groans scattered across the room.
My quantum physics professor was really particular about how we wrote the symbols for our wave functions.
She was a total Psi's queen.
Every day, my professor starts her class by reading to us the important news of the day. Today she didn’t show up.
If the X-Men turned against Professor X it would be a Mutanty
What did the tiger say after he ate the professor?
Did you hear about the German Professor who created Fahrenheit?
I heard that in college he had a couple of degrees.
A Marine Biology student was compiling a list of all the sea creatures they could find on Wikipedia. The next day they handed it in to their Professor, who took one look at it and said..
My English Professor got weirdly angry at the formatting of my essay.
What did the calculus professor name his newborn son?
Calculus professor asked why he should curve the grades to our test.
I said, "It's a calc class, I guess you could say curves are integral to our class."
Groans filled the room. I laughed hysterically.
Why is the professor on fire?
What did the constipated math professor do?
He worked it out with a pencil.
It was a number two pencil.
I’m not saying poop jokes are my favorite... but they’re a solid number two
Student: Sorry Professor, I’m not going to report my Mexican friend to the police.
Professor: All I want is that you turn in your essay.
My favorite college teacher, Professor Grey, had the most unforgettable final exams.
It was the Grey Test of all time.
What’s the most accurate name for an Asian professor?
When did the professors meet?
Neuroanatomy professor dad jokes the class
He was lecturing on the cranial nerves, which do pretty much everything for the head. They control all 5 senses and motor output as well as some other non relevant stuff.
Professor: So class does everyone remember what the senses are?
Class: touch/pain, sight, hearing/equilibrium, smell, taste.
Professor: Does anyone know what the sixth sense is?
Class: (thinking hes serious) Guess random shit like magnetoreception.
Professor: The sixth sense is the ability to see dead people.
Class: combination of groans and laughter
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. No Time.”
My calculus professor was 16 minutes late to his first class, 8 minutes late to his second, and 4 minutes late to the third.
At this rate, he will never be in class on time.
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What exactly happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. No time.”
My math professor was late 16 minutes for the first class, 8 minutes late for the second, and 4 minutes late for the third.
At this rate, he’ll never be in class on time.
My professor makes all the students buy his book at the beginning of the term to make some profit.
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. No time.”
To make extra money, my university professor makes all his students buy his book at the beginning of the term.
When the physics lecture ended, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. No time.”
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. No time.”
After the lecture was over, I asked my physics professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. No time.”
At the end of the class, I asked my physics professor, “Would you tell me what happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry I can’t. There’s no Time.”
My university professor forces the students to buy his book at the beginning of the semester.
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