The fountain of youth…

…flows into the Juve-Nile.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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Do you know where the first fountain was ever made?

In the ground

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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The devil was sold a bunch of leaky fountain pens when visiting Turku, which used to be the capital of Finland.

Now Hell's inky

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vabune
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
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I found the Fountain of Youth and sat in it for early 5 hours!

I don't think it works though... I didn't get any younger. In fact, I got more wrinkly!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kickballer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
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What do yell at someone drinking from the nozzle of a fountain?

WATER YOU DOING

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SilentFinch
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
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I found the fountain of youth.

It was outside the bathrooms at the mall, right next to the one for adults.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChaoticFather
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2018
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After years of searching I finally discovered the Fountain of Doubt.

I'm not sure if it works or not.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brother_p
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2018
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a short punny story

Todd was a typical nerdy high schooler, and like most guys, he had a crush on Mary. One day, he got the courage to ask Mary to prom. To his surprise, she said yes. On the day of the prom, Todd had to excuse himself to get a drink. He went to the water fountain, but there was a long line. He then went to the lemonade table, but there was a long line there also. So he turned toward the fruit punch table...

and there was no punchline

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToxianLeader
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
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Was talking to my wife about her job selling fountain pens...

And I said all I know about fountain pens is the last time I drank from one I got sick.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pb49er
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
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Here's a fun dad prank.

When my dad was in high school, he was the manager at a small grocery store. He had a bunch of pranks he would play on newcomers, but this was by far the best one. He would have new people take those 5 gallon water jugs and have them "refill" the water fountains by pouring them into the water fountain drains. While he said most didn't do it, some of the less intelligent people did. He joked about this to me once, and we die of laughter talking about it to this day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pwnkaikz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2017
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Overheard this while picking up lunch today...

Bought some pizza slices and while I was filling up my drink from the soda fountain, there was a family of four talking about, of all things, medical professions. The daughter at the table said she thought a proctologist was basically a pervert since they'd be focused on butts all day every day.

The mom explained that you wouldn't call a heart surgeon who uses tools to literally crack open a person's chest cavity and muck around with things a serial killer, so why would you call a doctor who specializes in proctology a pervert?

The dad then chimed in "No that's not right... a serial killer is someone who uses Captain Crunch to murder another person!"

Silence at the table, and the daughter groaned rather loudly. I happened to make eye contact with the dad and just smirked and nodded, which made him beam, and walked out the door to hear him say "Right? Right guys?"

Well done, sir.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/redditaccount314
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2015
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Out of Order

I was walking through a hall with my boyfriend when we passed a drinking fountain. I was thirsty so I tried to take a drink but nothing came out. I then noticed a sign on it that said "out of order."

My boyfriend commented "it shouldn't be out of water, the sign says it's only out of order!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Preebos
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2014
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Working at a daycare is a gold mine.

I was working with the 4 yearolds with one of my supervisors. We we're building puzzles when one of the kids walks up to my supervisor.

Kid 1: (Insert supervisor name), I'm thirsty.

Supervisor: Hello Thirsty.

Kid 2: No I think he wants a drink from the water fountain.

Supervisor: Oh is that what Thirsty wants?

Kid 2: Yeah.

Supervisor: Ok go get a drink Thirsty.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zyulls13
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2013
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Teacherdad Material

Student: "Can I go to the bathroom and get a drink?"

Teacherdad: "Gross. Just go to the water fountain."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/martimeryard
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2013
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