A group of physicists came to my restaurant today, ate then explained what the force required to accelerate a mass of one gram at a rate of one centimeter per second squared is. Then when my attention was elsewhere, they all left, leaving behind a bunch of hyphens...
I should have known they'd dyne and dash.
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︎ Apr 25 2021
The aliens returned with a butter force.
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︎ Mar 17 2021
Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. What do you get when you remove it?
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︎ Apr 11 2021
I was thinking of joining the space force until I heard about the ridiculous physical requirements!
Turns out I'm a little short for a stormtrooper.
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︎ Apr 06 2021
The bully tried to force me to give up my lunch
so I gave him a knuckle sandwich.
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︎ Mar 26 2021
What do you call identical twins that join the police force?
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︎ Jan 14 2021
I failed a recent test on the forces of the earth.
Apparently I didnβt understand the gravity of the situation I was in
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︎ Jan 14 2021
I tried to join the psychic police force
But I failed the vision test
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︎ Nov 05 2020
Did you hear that the Air Force just bought a bunch of copies of The Little Mermaid on DVD?
They must be preparing for an Ariel assault.
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︎ Nov 08 2020
May the sales force be with you.
Q: Why doesnβt Darth Vader hire storm troopers to do his marketing?
A: Because they are always missing their sales targets!
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︎ Oct 13 2020
Duct tape is like the Force.
It has a dark side and a light side, and it holds the universe together.
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︎ Jul 03 2020
Whats the most important thing to be when living in Asgard with a corrupt police force?
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︎ Aug 15 2020
Historically, the Scottish fought off a British Invasion force 20x as big as their own
The British were simply out-plaid
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︎ Jun 29 2020
After watching Star Wars, my friend on tumblr told me he identifies as The Force
I guess that makes him a ForceKin
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︎ Aug 01 2020
To make extra money, my professor forces all the students to buy his book at the beginning of the term.
Itβs textbook Economics.
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︎ Jul 13 2020
Why was the Millennium Falcon easier to fly after the Force Awakens?
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︎ Sep 10 2019
"Help! There's a mysterous force pulling me into the floor!"
Wife: "Please get up off the floor and stop embarrassing yourself."
Dad: "Honey, do you not understand the gravity of this situation?!"
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︎ Aug 20 2018
Itβs not that hard to get into the Naval Forces.
I mean, we were all semen at one point.
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︎ Mar 19 2020
What is the elite division of space force called?
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︎ Dec 23 2019
What kind of currency does the Space Force use?
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︎ Nov 22 2018
The greatest air force to ever exist
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︎ Mar 22 2019
I've decided that when I become a dad, I'm not going to be the type who forces my kids to make their beds
I'll probably just buy them one from the store
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︎ Jan 01 2020
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︎ Feb 13 2018
Police forces are deflating the stats of seized drugs during the drug war campaign.
Apparently, they didn't do the math but they did the meth.
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︎ Jan 08 2020
What city has the smallest police force?
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︎ Jul 09 2019
It was really easy to get kicked out of the Japanese air force
They had a zero Tolerance policy
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︎ Apr 03 2019
Did you hear about the Air Force going AWOL?
They went on an air strike.
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︎ Mar 05 2019
What is it called when a group of US special forces go out for the night?
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︎ Jul 28 2019
The Air Force is the most patriotic arm of the US military.
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︎ Aug 08 2019
What kind of fruit do you serve to the couple whose family forces them to have a big wedding?
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︎ Apr 02 2019
Little known fact: The original name for Jedi was "Force Kin"
I wonder why it was rolled back?
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︎ Dec 13 2018
My friend 3D printed the letters S A T U R D A Y and S U N D A Y, and then threw those at me with maximum force.
I couldn't get up. I was completely weekend by it.
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︎ Jan 31 2019
may the force be with you
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︎ May 02 2018
What do you call a depot where the armed forces store their camouflage?
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︎ Jan 23 2019
What do you call the force of by a piano player applied over a distance?
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︎ Oct 16 2018
The United States Air Force is more than American...
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︎ Jan 23 2019
Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe
but if you remove it, you get gravy.
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︎ Nov 24 2020
Gravity, one of the most basic forces in the Universe. But then again, if you remove it...
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︎ Nov 11 2020
Gravity's one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. What do you get when you remove it?
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︎ Sep 27 2019
Gravity is one of the most essential forces in the universe. What do you get when you remove it?
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︎ Oct 01 2019
Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. What do you get when you remove it?
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︎ Nov 26 2019
Gravity's one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. What do you get when you remove it?
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︎ Sep 25 2019
My university professor forces the students to buy his book at the beginning of the semester.
Itβs textbook economics.
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︎ Jun 19 2019
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