What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
One requires tweetment and the other requires oinkment.
Pamdemic, she's much worse than the flu!
I caught the flu at an airport once.
It was a terminal illness.
(Special thanks to my dog's friend's dad for this one)
I think the flu is tired of humans
He said "I'm sick of you all"
I have a joke about the flu....
But I hope you dont get it.
One Flu Over the Cuckoo's Nest
My wife started coming down with the flu, and I asked if she'd had some citrus. "Oh, I forgot," she said. To which I replied:
"Orange you glad I reminded you?"
I took my 1 year old to the ER with the flu. As the nurse was taking her temperature rectally with the thermometer in the butt, he sympathized with her misery by saying “I know, it stinks.”
To which I responded “It certainly will when you take it out.” I accepted the long awkward silence that followed as thunderous applause.
One of my favourite dad jokes from the early 00’s: In an attempt to stop the spread of bird flu
President Bush has bombed the Canary Islands. Turkey is next!
What do you call doctors who make vaccines for the flu?
What do you get when you cross the flu with footwear?
I hear the United States is well stocked for a bird-of-prey flu epidemic...
There are plenty of ill eagle drugs for just such emergency.
Just found out I have a cold and the stomach flu.
I’ve got the Friday Night Blights
What do you call an influencer who has the flu?
This vaccination VW Beetle: "The Flu Bug"
How did the pope get the bird flu?
What do you give a porcupine when he has the flu?
Did you hear about the gingerbreadman flu strain
Don't worry, you won't catch it.
Did you hear that the Pope has the avian bird flu?
He got it from one of the cardinals
2018 was not a good year for me. I spent half of the year on the couch with the flu.
You could say I was ill for a full sicks months.
I can't imagine the stress put on the workers in trying to figure out the newest flu vaccine...
It probably puts a strain on the staff.
This time of year, everyone should know the symptoms of the Amish flu.
First you get a little horse, then a little buggy.
the doctor told my wife: You have Egyptian flu
you're going to be a mummy
I went to the doctor’s office and started yelling, “Typhoid! Measles! Flu!”
I always like to call the shots.
The passengers who were quarantined from the airplane turned out to have the flu
I said I’d get sick when pigs fly. Sadly, the Swine Flu
Did anyone hear about the Pope catching the bird flu?
They say he caught it from a Cardinal.
What do Cubans call the stomach flu?
Did you guys hear about that 14-year old virgin girl who got pregnant after receiving the flu vaccine?
Sounds like an inoculate conception
How do you fight off the flu?
What's the difference between swine flu and avian influenza?
One requires oinkment, the other requires tweetment.
What's the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu?
The bird flu requires tweetment but the swine flu just requires a little oinkment.
What’s the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu?
One requires tweetment, the other requires oinkment.
What's the difference between the bird flu and swine flu?
One requires tweetment and the other requires oinkment.
What's the difference between swine flu and bird flu?
One gets prescribed oinkment, and the other requires some sort of other tweetment.
What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
One's cured with tweetment, the other, oinkment.
How did the pope get the bird flu?
What's the difference between Avian Flu and Swine Flu?
One needs tweetment and the other needs oinkment
What’s the difference between the swine flu and the bird flu?
One requires oinkment, and the other requires tweetment.
What's the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu?
One requires tweetment and the other requires oinkment.
What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
If you have bird flu, you need tweetment.
If you have swine flu, you need oinkment.
What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
One requires "tweetment", the other requires "oinkment"!
What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
One requires tweetment and the other requires oinkment.
What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
One requires tweetment and the other requires oinkment.
What's the difference between curing bird flu and swine flu?
One requires tweetment, the other requires oinkment
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