I had to fire the guy I hired to mow my lawn.
My boss is threatening to fire the employee with the worst posture.
I have a hunch it might be me.
No one could figure out who set fire to the Cathedral of Notre Dame.
But Quasimodo had a hunch.
If H2O is on the inside of fire hydrants, what’s on the outside?
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
What did the Mexican fire chief name his son
How do you tell the difference between a chemical fire and an electrical fire?
With a fire distinguisher.
What kind of alert do the police put out when someone steals your fire?
I went to the shooting range for the first time, but I couldn’t get my gun to fire
I had to read the trouble shooting section in the manual
Your undergraduate diploma was a complete waste of money, you should throw it in the fire.
That's a first degree burn.
If H20 is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside ?
My son and I went camping yesterday and when he asked me how to start a campfire, I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same..."
"Then you’ll have a match."
There was a fire at the yodeling school. Everyone was asked to exit in an orderly orderly orderly manner
Santa and the elves are drinking around the fire and one of the elves says:
“Santa: you’ve been around since the 4th century, seen alphabets and languages rise and fall. Do you have a favorite letter?”
Claus thinks about it, scratches his thick white beard and says: “A B C D E F G H I J K M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z”
“Well Santa, I just asked for one. What does that mean?”
“And I gave you one! My favorite letter of the alphabet is the most Christmasy one out there! No-L!”
What did the chicken do when his shop caught on fire?
He egg-xited..
From my 8 year old today.
There was a terrible fire at the shoe factory today...
Over a million soles were lost.
Anyone else here a fan of Fire Emblem? Because I CHROMposed some great puns of one of the main lords!
reddit.com/gallery/jy2d6n
My elderly neighbor had some landscapers take care of his lawn every weekend for several years. Recently, he hired a new crew, but forgot to fire the old crew. So this weekend they both showed up to mow his lawn, and got into a fight over who should be there.
He had no idea he had started a turf war.
why did the forest ranger never put their tent between fires
because if they did the tents would be in a across fire
I dropped my steak into the fire.
Well done, me, well done.
Did you hear the was a fire at a used furniture store and two people died next door?
It was due the second hand smoke
I stole fire from the gods
But I couldn't fence it. It was too hot.
Did you hear about the circus fire?
A sage once set himself on fire to cleanse the monastery of evil smells. [OC]
I need to apologize to my fellow Californians for all the recent forest fires.
Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them
The coffee shop kept samples of burnt coffee as evidence to fire their roaster.
It was used as grounds for dismissal.
What do you call a woman who throws all of her bills on the fire?
I was in church the other day and the vicar was pointing his finger going "Pew, pew, pew". I asked him if he was pretending to fire a laser pistol or something...
He said "Nope, just counting the seats".
How did the fire ant feel after the rain storm flooded his home?
Martha had always listened to her parents when they said ‘stay away from fire’, but today, her interests got the best of her and she intentionally lit herself on fire just to see what it felt like.
Martha was burning with curiosity
Arsenal F.C was on fire the other night
Some blame it on Cole, but I believe it was Arsene.
My friend's bakery got set on fire the other day
Did you hear about the Chinese fire eater,
What did the novels do when the library caught fire?
What did the beaver say when it saw its impoundment on fire?
If H20 is inside a fire hydrant, what's on the outside?
My boss told me that he was going to fire the person with the worst posture
I have a hunch, it might be me.
If H2O is inside a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?
My boss is threatening to fire the employee with the worst posture.
I have a hunch that it might be me.
Did you hear about the circus fire?
My boss is threatening to fire the employee with the worst posture.
I have a hunch it might be me.
My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture
I have a hunch, it might be me.
I went to the shooting range for the first time and couldn’t get my gun to fire.
Now I have to read the trouble shooting section in the manual.
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