On earth the English alphabet has 26 letters, but only 25 in outer space.
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︎ Aug 17 2022
What did the earth say after the earthquake?
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︎ Aug 19 2022
Isn't Earth the third planet form the sun ...
Doesn't that means every country is a third world country
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︎ Jul 03 2022
The last man on earth was taking a bath when suddenly
He felt a tap on his shoulder
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︎ Aug 12 2022
Why have the aliens never visited us here on earth?
Because of the terrible reviews we got. We only have one star βοΈ
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︎ Aug 05 2022
The earth aint flat
But it could be if yo momma fell over
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︎ Sep 11 2022
Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on Earth?
Itβs pasteurized before you even see it.
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︎ Jul 28 2022
My kid just came up to me and asked if the Earth was flat. I told him no, but he shook his head.
βDad, the Earth is 71 percent water, and nearly all of it is uncarbonated.β
(He really made this up. ONE OF US)
An edit for the doubters: He was drinking a Fanta and we were watching Prehistoric Planet together when he thought up the basic idea. I helped him with the punchline, because he was having trouble making it land (heβs 11, and more mechanically-minded than artsy, if you know what I mean, so he needed help on the phrasing).
Itβs not a super complicated joke, so of course itβs not new, but hey, heβs 11. Good job, kid.
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︎ Jun 11 2022
Astronauts have to drink their coffee black to prep for trips off the earth.
In space no one can here use cream.
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︎ Jul 22 2022
The earth actually IS flat...
It's 70% water, and none of it is carbonated
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︎ Sep 03 2022
I was arguing with a flat-earther the other day, and he stormed off, saying how heβd show me the edge of the Earth.
Iβm sure heβll come around.
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︎ Jul 17 2022
Last night I had a dream that I was responsible for culling half the living population on Earth.
Then I snapped out of it.
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︎ Aug 30 2022
You know, the rotation of the earth...
... really makes my day.
Have a great day.
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︎ Aug 20 2022
Scientists got tired of watching the Earth spin.
So after 24 hours, they called it a day.
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︎ Jun 25 2022
You know how "fault" can refer to a large crack in the earth?
That means another word for "asphalt" is "butt crack."
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︎ Aug 23 2022
What did Earth say to the other planets
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︎ Jul 07 2022
A round earther asked a flat earther what made you believe the earth was flat?
The evidence pushed me over the edge
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︎ Jul 04 2022
The shittest joke on planet earth
Where is the one place you can legally touch A minor?
On a keyboard or piano
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︎ Jul 22 2022
Did you hear the one about the flat earth society?
They have nothing to fear but sphere itself
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︎ Apr 17 2022
Where on earth do find the world's loudest fish?
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︎ Aug 02 2022
I just met the meanest person on earth
He was just average
From my 12 year old
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︎ Jun 15 2022
I like the way the earth rotates
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︎ Jul 12 2022
Why Don't We Have a Reality Show Where Flat Earthers Walk to the End of the Earth?
Because that would be edgy
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︎ Feb 11 2022
I had a debate with a flat earther. He said he'll walk to the edge of the earth to prove me wrong.
I'm sure he'll come around.
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︎ Mar 17 2022
Hereβs how I know the Earth is flat: 71% of the Earthβs surface is waterβ¦
And none of it is carbonated.
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︎ Apr 06 2022
The plan to build steps to Low Earth Orbit hasn't gotten very far.
The physicists are spending a lot of time stairing into space...
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︎ Jun 28 2022
I have found irrefutable evidence that the earth is flat
It's covered with 70% uncarbonated water.
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︎ May 08 2022
What language do people speak in the middle of the earth?
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︎ Jan 01 2022
With the ice caps melting, Earth isn't able to hold any more water in her oceans, so it's spilling over to dry land..
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︎ May 27 2022
Did you hear that story how Tim Berners-Lee became an arachnid and conquered the earth?
Well it ends with the creation of the world-wide web.
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︎ Jun 09 2022
Why is it that all of the instruments seeking intelligent life in the universe are pointed away from Earth?
To avoid false positives.
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︎ May 22 2022
If the richest guy on Earth became a Muslimβ¦
Do you think heβd build an Elon Mosque?
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︎ Apr 16 2022
Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on earth?
It's pasteurized before you can even see it.
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︎ Aug 22 2022
What's the fastest liquid on earth?
Milk. It's pasteurized before you see it.
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︎ Mar 16 2022
The Earth is made up of 70% water and itβs uncarbonated..
So itβs technically flat.
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︎ Apr 08 2022
The earth is 70% water and uncarbonated.
Which technically makes the earth flat.
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︎ Apr 25 2022
Scientists watched the earth rotate for 24 hours and got tired,
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︎ Feb 24 2022
What did Earth say to the other planets?
βYou guys have no life!β
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︎ Jun 03 2022
Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on Earth?
Itβs pasteurized before you can even see it!
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︎ Jun 29 2022
I had a debate with a flat- earther. He said he'll walk to the edge of the Earth to prove me wrong.
I'm sure he'll come around.
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︎ Mar 19 2022
I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying he'd walk to the edge of the earth to prove me wrong.
I'm sure he'll come around, eventually.
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︎ Dec 21 2021
Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on earth?
It's pasteurized before you can even see it.
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︎ Apr 27 2022
Milk is the fastest liquid on earth
Itβs pasteurized before you can even see it.
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︎ Jan 18 2022
70% of the Earth is covered in water.
Itβs not carbonated.
Therefore, the earth is flat.
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︎ Mar 03 2022
The Earth is flat
Over 70% of its surface is water, and none of it is carbonated.
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︎ Feb 08 2022
The surface of the earth is approx 70% water. None of it is carbonated.
Proving the earth is flat.
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︎ Jan 06 2022
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