My wife tested my knowledge of common household herbs, and Iβm happy to say I got 4 out of 5 right.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Jan 29 2021
John Travolta tested negative for covid last night.
turns out it was just Saturday Night Fever!
π︎ 12
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︎ Feb 08 2021
I tested positive for my corvid-19 test
It really ruffled my feathers
π︎ 4
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︎ Feb 15 2021
The cast from Pulp Fiction tested positive with Covid after going camping together:
π︎ 18
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︎ Jan 20 2021
Recently, the Kansas City Chiefs acted quickly and had to pull their team barber out mid-cut because they learned he tested positive for COVID.
Guess you could say that it was a close shave
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 05 2021
The Covid-19 vaccine should be tested on politicians first...
If they survive, the vaccine is safe.
If they don't, the country is safe.
π︎ 109
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︎ Nov 16 2020
U have been tested positive for breathtaking
π︎ 127
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︎ Oct 16 2020
My wife got tested for coronavirus...
I am very disappointed, she failed
π︎ 12
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︎ Nov 11 2020
Trump tested positive for COVID-19
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 02 2020
Iβm mad at my wife because I bought a stun gun for her birthday and she tested it out on me. Twice.
What a revolting response to a gift. I was stunned.
π︎ 53
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︎ Aug 15 2020
I tested myself for corona
π︎ 2
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︎ Nov 20 2020
So I tested positive for covid antibodies.
My dad wanted to know about my uncle-bodies.
π︎ 4
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︎ Oct 05 2020
My girlfriend and the kids went to get tested
Thankfully the tests came back negative and they're not my kids after all
π︎ 12
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︎ Sep 17 2020
Iβm so excited! Scientists have tested cloning on humans.
π︎ 94
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︎ May 26 2020
I had my patience tested.
π︎ 2
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︎ Aug 30 2020
I had my patience tested today ...
π︎ 7
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︎ Aug 04 2020
I just got word my ex wife was rushed to the ER and tested positive for COVID-19!
So I guess she wasnβt sick of me?
π︎ 6
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︎ Apr 23 2020
I couldnβt be tested for covid19
The doctor kept giving me the rona-round
π︎ 8
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︎ Mar 29 2020
Did you hear about the guy who expired for not following time tested advice?...
π︎ 3
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︎ Apr 25 2020
Hey guys, I just tested out my new sledgehammer!
Letβs just say the experience was groundbreaking.
π︎ 17
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︎ Dec 12 2019
My Muslim friend tested positive for Coronavirus...
He's now under QurΚΎΔn-tine.
π︎ 2
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︎ Mar 24 2020
BREAKING NEWS: The president of Brazil has tested positive for the coronavirus.
He met with Trump only 4 days ago!
The odds of this are like... one in a Brazillion...
π︎ 3
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︎ Mar 13 2020
You're fired, Jack. The test results came back, and you tested positive for Coke
π︎ 115
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︎ May 01 2019
Lab Tested
π︎ 47
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︎ Feb 16 2019
A dad-texted and tested joke
You heard about the bottle of cheap tequila that parked in the parking lot?
The security guard came up and said, βHey, Jose, you got to leave.β
Jose said, βΒΏPor quΓ©? Itβs a parking lot and Iβm parked.β
Security guard replies, βDidnβt you see the sign? Itβs PatrΓ³n parking only.β
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 16 2019
My doctor said i need to be tested hearing aids....
I said I don't think so I always used protection
π︎ 10
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︎ May 20 2019
What did Mario say after he tested the cheese?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 06 2018
The first ever guy they tested out to eat maple syrup from a tree mustβve been a real sap!
π︎ 2
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︎ Mar 06 2018
I tested out my new bum shaking machine today
π︎ 20
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︎ Oct 23 2014
My dad went to get his blood tested
The nurse asked him "You've been fasting, right?" To which he replied: "I've been going pretty slowly, actually."
π︎ 45
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︎ May 16 2014
I went to get my blood tested...
I thought I was Type-A. But it was a typo.
π︎ 23
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︎ Feb 21 2014
Dad just tested me this.
Dad: why did the chicken cross the road.
Me: I dunno why.
Dad: to get to the idiots house.
Me: haha funny..
Dad: knock knock.
Me: who's there.
Dad: the chicken haha idiot.
I fell right into that one.
π︎ 2
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︎ Apr 02 2015
Getting my car tested for emissions, still not safe from dadjokes.
I brought my car to the emissions check for Colorado. For those not aware, most information is based on the car, not the owner, so they don't really take any information from you when you first arrive. After my car was done getting its emissions tested, they called me from the waiting area. The lady opened the door and loudly called out "Oldsmobile!" I had to ask how she knew that was my name.
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︎ Aug 08 2014
John Travolta tested negative for coronavirus last night
Turns out it was just saturday night fever
(Taking advantage of a very narrow humour window!)
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Mar 15 2020
The vaccine should be tested on politicians first
If they survive the vaccine is safe but if they don't the country is safe
π︎ 62
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︎ Oct 22 2020
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