Did I ever tell y’all about the time I went to the zoo and there was only one animal… AND it was a dog?
I can tell all the differences between a domestic pig and a wild one
But I think the explanation will boar you.
I was going to tell you all a joke about time travel.
Unfortunately none of you liked it.
A stranger asked me if I had any special talents. I said "I would tell you all 25 letters of the alphabet...
I'd love to tell you that all duvets are thicker than quilts
But my wife hates it when I make blanket statements.
I was going to tell you all a joke about pizza.
But I won’t, because it’s way too cheesy.
My tried to tell my son all the steps to fixing a calculator.
I tell my newborn son all the jokes I see here
They're so funny he is left speechless.
I used to tell dad jokes all the time.
I can't tell you all Japanese history in one joke...
I hear all of you like to tell dad jokes?????
I tell dad jokes all the time, even though I'm not a dad...
Did I tell y’all music was coming out of my printer?
When I was young my mom would tear out the last page of all my comics. She wouldn't tell me why.
I had to draw my own conclusions.
People ask me where I get all the jokes I tell…
… of course, I tell them that they’re stored in my dad-abase.
I want to tell you all about a girl that only ate plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
All day I've been selling dead canaries online, and i can tell you...
My wife tried to tell our cat that we would all be flying to a new home, but the cat seemed unimpressed.
I explained that the cat doesn’t understand plane English.
I'm going to tell you all a story about strawberries.....
I was going to tell y’all a golf joke
I'd tell yous all a joke about a wall
However none of you would get over it.
You all tell dad jokes in here....
But do you know when a joke is a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent.
Feel blessed to live in Hawai'i but apparently, I'm just not a funny guy. Every time I tell a joke, all I get is...
I was going to tell you all about my most recent fart..
But that's behind me now.
"All you're doing is listening to what I say to tell me I'm wrong!"
I tell bad chemistry jokes, because all the good ones
This guy I know is paid to sit in an elevator and tell jokes all day.
I gotta say, his sense of humor has gotten higher these days.
I tell everyone that I hate all romantic comedies, but that is a lie.
I love Love Actually actually.
The King gathered all the chess pieces around to tell a bedtime story. He said...
How can you tell all ants are female?
Cause if they were males they’d be uncles
I put original copies of "The Fall of the House of Usher", "The Murders in the Rue Morgue", "The Pit and the Pendulum" and "The Tell-Tale Heart" on credit hoping to pay them off slowly. Unfortunately, I couldn't make all payments...
Tell me if it doesn’t land on y’all
My mom used to tell me if I ate all my meat I would become as strong as an ox, but that couldn't be true
because I've never seen an ox eating meat.
I returned from vacation sporting a full face beard. My students all tell me I look like Thor. I admit I was expecting a more Loki response.
I guess you could say I never Thor it coming.
My grandpa used to tell this one all the time....How do you make Holy Water?
You boil the hell out of it.
I’ve got a mate writing a tell all book about life in the snow plough business.
He says it will be a very gritty read.
Teacher: Okay class, tell me what scares you most. Let's start with Paul. Paul: Werewolves Nina: Sharks Dylan: The unstoppable march of time that us guiding us all to our inevitable demise.
I didn't mean to tell all my friends Bush's secret family recipe!
I got drunk and spilled the beans.
I'm dreading the upcoming holidays because I know dad's gonna tell us all about the bear and the rabbit who were taking a poop in the woods...
The bear asks the rabbit, "You ever have a problem with poop sticking to your fur?"
The rabbit says, "No."
So the bear wipes his butt with the rabbit...
I was going to tell you all a time travel joke
But you guys didn’t like it
I would tell you all a time travelling joke…
I used to tell dad jokes all the time
but he said I wasn't funny.
I was gonna tell you all a time travel joke...
I want to tell you all about this girl who only eats plants...
You’ve probably never heard of herbivore.
I tell bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones..
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