How does Darth Vader like his steaks?

Well, done done done, done da done, done da done

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ‘€︎ u/dnifdoog
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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What do you eat when your Pop Tarts get stuck and break in half in the toaster?

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πŸ‘︎ 112
πŸ‘€︎ u/WesleySnopes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
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What was John Lennon's favorite kind of Pop-Tart?

Strawberry-filled. Forever.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
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Obituary for the Pillsbury Dough Boy, Pop N Fresh

The Pillsbury Doughboy, remembered best as "Pop N Serve", and/or "Pop N Fresh", died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy will be buried in this lightly greased coffin.

Dozens of celebrities will turn out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.

The grave site is expected to be piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima will deliver the eulogy and lovingly describe Doughboy as "a man who never knew how much he was kneaded".

Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.. He was considered a very smart cookie, but wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes.

Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop tart.

The funeral will be held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/Eyes_and_teeth
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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How did The Beatles like their pop tarts?

Strawberry Filled Forever

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ahernia
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2017
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What do you call a holy pop tart?

A pope tart!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/FlyingSpacefrog
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2018
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What do you call a catholic toaster strudel?

A pope tart.

πŸ‘︎ 95
πŸ‘€︎ u/UncleB_127
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
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Bakewell Tarts

When I was on holiday with my family in England, as we pulled into Bakewell, my dad, as he always would do, turned around and gave us some background on the town we had just entered.

"Welcome to Bakewell, famous for it's tarts, there's two of them there! Hello girls!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tasty_Sock
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2014
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What breakfast was a musical sensation?

A pop tart.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ‘€︎ u/Joey_the_Duck
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
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I burned 400 calories this morning.

My Pop Tarts got stuck in the toaster.

πŸ‘︎ 175
πŸ‘€︎ u/GinormousPenguin
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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God said come fourth John and...

...receive eternal life. But John came fifth and won a toaster.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ‘€︎ u/Flame_CK
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2017
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What do dogs eat for breakfast?


πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsKilLikeMine
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
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There once was a man.....

There once was a man who had a job driving a passenger train between two large towns. It could be a very dull job to some, but as the old saying goes, one man's trash is another's gold; he wanted to be a railroad man since he was a boy.

He was a wiz behind the controls of the train, and commanded the 15 car vehicle effortlessly as if he had been born to do the job. He prided himself on the fact that he could bend the rules and speed through curves and grades that made other motormen shiver and back off.

One day however, he wasn't so lucky and came round a bend too fast and derailed his train. He backed off the throttle and braked as much as he could, managing to only have one fatality out of 500 passengers on his train.

Months later there was a trial and he was found guilty of manslaughter in the highest degree, a capital offence in that land, and sentenced to die by electric chair. Punishment came swift, unlike most places, and 3 days after sentencing the former railroader was asked for his last meal.

"I'll have a banana," "Just a single banana?" said the perplexed guard. "The warden will grant you a feast and all you want is that?"

"Just a single banana." he said.

After he downed the fruit, he was strapped into the electric chair an hour later.... The warden hit the switch, lights flickered, and the crackle of electricity could be heard for over a minute...

...but our train jockey instead rose from the chair looking more like he got a stiff massage, rather than be put to death! Well in that nation, the law of the land states that if a man somehow survives being put to death, they must be set free...

...And so it came to pass that our engineer was let go...

And for whatever reason, he got his job back!

So he was back railroading again doing the job that he loved. You'd think he'd have been more cautious with this second chance he'd been given, but you'd also be wrong. Speedy Gonzales with a train license decided to gun his locomotive to hard and send it off the tracks again!

Of course, this time he was tried for the same crime, but at a different time (his was a fair commonwealth and double indemnity was simply unheard of!) So fair was their nation, that the jury came up with the same judgement and punishment. So three days later, when asked for his last meal, the engineer simply said "I'll have 2 bananas..."

Not less than 60 minutes after consuming the last morsel was he strapped into the chair and the switch thrown... And....


... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ‘€︎ u/onmugen
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2016
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Complementary pie?
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/agentwilsonx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2010
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If someone were to use a fake toaster pastry in a TV show or movie...

They'd call it a PROP TART!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zanderich
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2014
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Dropped a good one on my girlfriend and her friends at the bar

Girlfriend: Try this drink Mark, it taste just like a sweet tart! Me: sips drink That's pretty good. What's or called? Girlfriends friends: It's called a Kamikaze. Me: That explains why people are dying to get it.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/MarkRuckedYou
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2016
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Spit this gem out on accident

I needed my shirt ironed and my sister volunteered to help. For some reason we were saying "iron" and "ironing" as "earn" and "earning". Accent jokes, ha. The following ensued:

Me: "Hey Thanks again for earning my shirt"

Sis: "No big deal, it's easy really"

Me: "Yeah. Do you want this pop tart?"

lifts pop tart

Sis: "Really? Sure."

Me: "You earned it."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sgt_Pepper522
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2015
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