Tarp Puns

Things became pretty tents.

Husband: "I really hope that tarp stays attached. I'm kinda worried because it's frayed."

Me: "What's it 'fraid of?"

into his makeshift tent, don't do it.

It's a tarp.

So my niece was talking about how it was raining, and at her school they have these "tents", which are really just tarps, over the outside lunch area. Apparently water pools up on top of them after it rains.

Her: the janitor was pushing up with a broom underneath and the water was splashing off, it was intense! me: sounds like it was off-tents actually... her: facepalm

As I'm struggling with draping a tarp over our boat before the rain comes, I ask my sister to come over and help. Dad jumps up from his chair and yells, "Ashley no! It's a tarp!"

The snacking nut millions around the world is actually pronounced 'amond' and not 'almond'. I found this out recently when visiting family friends who own an amond orchard in CA.

I asked the owner why they are supposed to be called amonds and not almonds and he said it has to do with the harvesting process. See what they do is spread a large tarp out beneath the almond tree. Then they bring in a machine that attaches to the trunk. This machine is very specialized and is designed to create prolonged and intense vibrations, similar to the tool that is used to level/even out concrete. Once the machine is attached to the almond tree it is turned out. The intense vibrations in the trunk lead to the amonds falling out of the tree and onto the tarp. You see, the machine "shook the L out of em!"

It's a trap

Because it's a trap