They were brothers in arm.
I feel sorry for the person I have to send that to.
A not-see
I stopped and asked him what the matter was, he told me his dog had died. I gave my sympathies and offered to get him another one, he just looks at me and says "sure what would I do with two dead dogs".
With sympathy
What an udder disappointment.
I'm just a pool boy, I need no sympathy.
Whenever I see something with an expiration date that has a ridiculous time a lotted for consumption I will say... For instance today is august 16,2013 If i buy cereal today that expires on november 2015 I will say "we have to hurry up and eat this by november 2015!" Hahaha...crickets
So, I realize this isn't entirely in the spirit of dad jokes, but I think you all will get a groan or three in the end...
Basically, my dad is the epitome of /r/dadjokes. He is a walking talking dadjoke. So, it was quite the shock to our family when we recently found out that he has stage 4 Cholangiocarcinoma (the Bad Luck Brian of cancers.) and doesn't have much longer to live. Anyhow, his favorite image on the internet is of a dead deer on the side of the road with a "Get well soon" balloon tied to its leg. It cracks him up. Tickles him pink in fact...so, being the morbid family we are, that lead to this...
http://imgur.com/h2cCZQq
He might be dying, but I still call him dad, and he is still quick with a joke. As you can see his sense of humor hasn't gone anywhere. Our family's sense of humor is what gets us all through. I believe my favorite bad joke through all of this was his buddy who said, "Frank, that is the worst spray tan I've ever seen in my life." (You see, the cancer is shutting down his liver and he appears yellow from jaundice.)
I'm not looking for any sympathy here, dad's die all the time. That's a tough fact of life. I just wanted to spread a fine dadjoke.
Thanks for reading.
because I failed to change the 9 volt battery in the smoke detector in her office. She came in afew minutes later looking for sympathy when the battery hit her square in the forehead when attempting to change it herself. Instead of offering sympathy, though, I said, "Well, there's a reason it's called a battery." And now I'll be sleeping in the guestroom.
Question: What was the worst shift you've ever worked?
Answer: @jon_bois Was a gravedigger for a summer - every shift was the worst. Finished a shift once and realized I left my soda cup in a grave.
Response: This is accidental genius. You could have skated by on sympathy for such a long time. "Cut me a break, okay? I BURIED MY POP LAST WEEKEND."
H/T http://www.sbnation.com/2014/10/21/7028991/breaking-madden-roster-cuts-week-8-a-big-gulp-full-o-poop
I went on a run this morning, and I passed by a man who was picking up after his dog. We looked at each other, and I said good morning with a look of sympathy for his less than ideal task. He looks me dead in the eyes, holds up the bag, and says "This is a load of shit!"
The man was not my dad, but he looked like a dad.
