ATTENTION: DO NOT SWIM IN LAKES, RIVERS, POOLS OR STREAMS
It has been found these locations are contaminated with dihydrogenmonoxide, one of the deadliest compounds in the world.
How does Dolly Parton clean her swimming pools?
Chlorine, chlorine, chlorine, chlorineeeeeeeeeeee!
What do you call s man with no arms and legs in a swimming pool?
A guy knocked on my door asking for a donation to build a community swimming pool.
So, I handed him a glass of water.
What do you call an unvaccinated kids in a swimming pool?
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.
I gave him a glass of water.
The deepest swimming pool in the world
Is most likely on the Titanic
What do you call a security guard at a swimming pool?
A German built a swimming pool around his table.
Why did the elephants get kicked out of the swimming pool?
They couldn't keep their trunks up!
Went to the swimming pool the other day and desperately need to pee so just peed in the pool
Got such a fright when the lifeguard blew his whistle that I nearly fell in..
It's a swimming pool guys
Swimming pools are just chlorified bathtubs....
It might not quite work out in english, but it got stuck in my head - chlorine being used in pools, which are glorified bathtubs....
Religion is like a swimming pool.
Most of the noise is coming from the shallow end.
A boy complains to his father: 'You told me to put a potato in my swimming trunks! You said it would impress the girls at the pool! But you forgot to mention one thing!'
Father: 'Really, what?'
Boy: 'That the potato should go in the front.'
What do old people and swimming pools have in common?
They’re both full of pee but only one can hold their water. So I guess it deep ends.
Did you hear about the criminals doing their water ballet routine in the prison swimming pool?
There were inundated con sequences.
As I was cleaning the dirtiest swimming pool ever, people looked at me with sadness in their eyes...
I'm just a pool boy, I need no sympathy.
What do you call 3 cats at the bottom of a swimming pool?
trois cat sank
edit: trois quatre cinq
edit: the cats are french
My reaction when people say they have a swimming pool indoor…
"Why on earth would you have a swimming pool in your door?"
A boy came up to me asking if I could donate to the local swimming pool
I came back with a glass of water
Took my daughter swimming and there was a group of deaf people signing to each other on the pool.
My daughter was quite curious/interested in their use of sign language and was staring. I redirected her and told her it was not polite to stare.
She asked me "but why can't I watch"?
I replied:
"Because they might hear you"
Dad always told us to get out of the swimming pool when it's raining.
He said we might get wet in the rain.
My wife asked me to sync her iPhone
iPhone is in the swimming pool now
Pun Request: Pool Bus
Not sure where to post a pun request, but here it goes. A French artist made a swimming pool out of a bus. Any phrases come to mind?
Pool/bus in question
A man knocked on my door today and asked for a small donation for the local swimming pool...
So I gave him a glass of water...
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool
I gave him a glass of water
Today a man came to my house and asked for a small donation towards a local swimming pool
I gave him a glass of water
Today I had someone knock on my door asking for small donations towards the local swimming pool.
I gave him a glass of water
A guy came to my door asking for donations for a local swimming pool
I gave him a cup of water to help out
A man knocked on my door asking for donations for the local swimming pool
I handed him a glass of water
Somebody just knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.
So I gave him a glass of water!
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.
I gave him a glass of water.
Today someone knocked on the door and asked for a small donation for the local public swimming pool.
I gave him a glass of water.
Why did the elephants get kicked out of the swimming pool?
They couldn't keep their trunks up!
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation to the local swimming pool.
I gave him a glass of water.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool?
A man knocked on my door asking for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.
So I gave him a glass of water.
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs, in a swimming pool?
My dad once told me that if I put a potato in my swim trunks, I would attract more women...
He forgot to tell me to put the potato in the front
Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.
So, I gave him a glass of water.
What do you call a swimming pool with a cat in it?
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