As the animals left the ark, Noah told them to go forth and multiply. After some time, Noah came upon two snakes who were just lying there sunning themselves.
So Noah asked them, βWhy arenβt you multiplying?β
The snakes replied, βWe canβt, weβre adders.β
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︎ Apr 28 2019
A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers, "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"
"Yes, my master, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."
"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."
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︎ Jan 10 2021
Special moment: giving my sun his first bath.
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︎ Jan 22 2021
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun was,
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︎ Jan 05 2021
2 Astronauts landed on the Sun
Astronaut 1 : ItssofuckinghotcanIgetabeeraroundhere?
Astronaut 2 : Thereisnospacebar.
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︎ Jan 15 2021
Well.. We made another trip around the sun.
But it's the earth's rotation that really makes my day.
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︎ Jan 01 2021
What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?
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︎ Dec 21 2020
NASA put a watch around a potted plant and sent it on a rocket to the sun. I said to my Daughter, "don't worry, it will be ok.."
"a watched pot never boils"
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︎ Jan 20 2021
My friend today is intentionally staring at the sun to cause eye damage.
Look on the bright side, today will be the last time he sees 2020....
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︎ Dec 31 2020
Why didn't the sun go to college?
It already has like a million degrees!
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︎ Dec 23 2020
Somebody should come up with a name for when the sun goes down
Iβm gonna call it a night
π︎ 4
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︎ Jan 16 2021
Honey, you are the sun that lights my sky.
I'm glad you're there, but god I hate looking at you.
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︎ Jan 13 2021
I squint at the sun because its bright...
......but, I squint at some coworkers, because they aren't.
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︎ Dec 24 2020
Tag-und Nacht
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︎ Dec 05 2020
Mon, Wed, Fri, Sun- its Greg Tues, Thurs, Sat- its Ian
It's the GregorIan Calendar.
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︎ Dec 17 2020
They just found a planet practically identical to earth, but it has two suns.
Itβs a constant sun set.
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︎ Dec 19 2020
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︎ Oct 21 2020
Hey Sun.
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︎ Oct 18 2020
If we lived on the sun
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︎ Nov 21 2020
Beer is like the sun...
It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.
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︎ Nov 02 2020
What did the Sun say to the Moon when it came home after itβs curfew?
βHave you been out all night?β
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︎ Dec 03 2020
I hope you understand
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︎ Jan 13 2021
His Sun isn't so bright...
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︎ Sep 17 2020
Johnny Depp has lost his case against The Sun newspaper even with evidences
Hard to win if Amber is Heard and Johnny is not
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︎ Nov 11 2020
What does Apollo, god of the sun, do when his sideburns get too long?
π︎ 12
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︎ Oct 29 2020
Whatβs hotter than the sun?
My daughter. Oh wait, I thought this was r/stepdadjokes
Um, never mind.
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︎ Nov 03 2020
Whatever you do, don't look at the sun through a colander...
You will strain your eyes
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︎ Oct 02 2020
Boy : "Dad, could you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"
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︎ Jan 29 2021
My son asked: βDad, have you seen my sunglasses?β
I replied: βNo son, but have you seen my dad glasses?β
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︎ Aug 17 2020
Why is the Sun so smart?
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︎ Aug 29 2020
Remember, the sun isn't chicken.
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︎ Aug 05 2020
I was just chillin by the pool on the 4th of July with my 11 yr old. I told him I got a little Sun...
And then you had a growth spurt.
It took him a few minutes...
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︎ Jul 04 2020
21st June 2020 lies on Sunday, which is also Father's Day, but since we have Solar Eclipse on that day, it's actually Sun-day.
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︎ Jun 17 2020
4 Norse gods, 1 roman God, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar
The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke
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︎ Oct 29 2020
2 blondes talking....
1st blonde: "I'm going to be the first woman to land on the Sun."
2nd blonde: "Don't be stupid, you'll burn."
1st blonde: "Nah!! I've got a plan. I'm going at night."
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︎ Jan 24 2021
Know the difference between sun and no sun?
You really should. Its night and day
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︎ Jun 07 2020
The sun came up twice today
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︎ Jul 13 2020
No sun
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︎ Feb 24 2020
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went...
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︎ Dec 31 2020
I stayed up all night, wondering where the sun went.
And then it dawned on me.
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︎ Nov 27 2020
What happens to nitrogen when the sun comes up? It becomes daytrogen.
π︎ 7
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︎ Aug 22 2020
Boy: βDad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?β
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︎ Jan 31 2021
I once stayed up all night trying to figure out where the Sun went
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︎ Aug 11 2020
Son: "Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"
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︎ Jan 26 2021
The sun is hot, and bright... I look up to the sun. :)
π︎ 4
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︎ Jul 17 2020
What happens to nitrogen when the sun comes up?
π︎ 12
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︎ Jun 15 2020
I was up all night wondering where the sun went
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︎ Jul 12 2020
Son: Father can you tell me what a solar eclipse is? Father: No sun.
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︎ Jun 18 2020
Why did the sun never go to college?
It already has thousands of degrees.
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︎ Apr 09 2020
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