The founder of modern study.
My son just told me that he is studying Mesopotamia this term
I said “Great, I can Babylon about it for hours!”
I studied Morse code so I could tap out dad jokes with my ham radio, but I only learned half of the code.
So I'm no expert at it, just a pundit.
Studies show that 6 out of 7 dwarfs...
My wife is studying to become a massage therapist
All she wants to do is study and practice. I’ve got to cook; I’ve got to clean. It’s tough.
But I have to say, at the end of the day, it does feel nice to be kneaded
A local contractor hired a pasta chef to redo the interior of a doctor’s office that studies antibiotics.
The inside looks great! They have a penne ceiling.
According to a recent study, it’s really hard for women to work for the Postal Service.
It’s a mail dominated industry.
What do fish study in school?
I went to University to study to be a doctor.
Unfortunately, I had to drop out. I just didn't have the patients.
I tried to study abroad once in college
She asked me if I had a staring problem
What do you call someone that studies the science of wish granting?
I read a study that sailing in Finland is mostly done by women
If a man takes the helm, they're afraid that Helsinki
You know what you should do if you want to really study something?
Our dog has been a little under the weather so we took him in for a checkup. The vet picked him up, studied him for a bit, sighed and said, "I'm really sorry, but I'm gonna have to put him down." Tears welling in my eyes I sputtered, "Why!? What's wrong with him?"
The vet replied, "Nothing major, he's just really heavy!"
A professor studies bisexual people
He is a professor of biology
So I read a study the other day claiming that “humans eat more bananas than monkeys”
Which to me sounded a bit obvious. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Studies have revealed that cows produce much more milk when the farmers talk to them.
It's a case of, in one ear and out of the uddet
After a half century of study, I’ve discovered the true connection between mind and body.
Recent studies have shown that roughly 80% of goth girls in our country's high schools enjoy reading parenting magazines.
Strangely enough, they mostly only read the daddy issues.
My sister, the biologist, was studying cell division when she dropped her microscope on my toe.
Albert Einstein was a genius and worthy of praise and study.
His brother Frank was an absolute monster.
The US Navy will start to equip all their subs with emotional support dogs. After a lot study, they decided on Dachshunds...
...they will be subma-weiners.
I should be studying
his jokes were so funny i started crying from laughter
i guess i have a sense of aqueous humor
I wanted to study astronomy...
I was recently rejected from a mushroom studying school.
They said there wasn't mushroom for a fungi like me.
If Queen Elizabeth farts during dinner, all the other guests are supposed to pretend as if nothing happened.
Noble gases have no reaction.
What do you call a scientist who studies avian sexuality?
There was a recent study showing that crows were hit a lot more by trucks than cars...
they came to the conclusion that this was because crows can warn each other by going "CAAAR CAAAR" but can't say "TRUCK TRUCK"
I conducted a study for Steve Jobs regarding the lack of evolution in his employees.
Those are Apple Bottom Genes.
Gabe was muttering incoherently. He'd been up all night studying for the history exam.
I poked my head in his room, and he was blathering about how he wanted to quit school and be a truck driver.
"I'm gonna get one of those big beautiful Peterbuilts, with all the running lights everywhere. Or maybe a Mack with an extended cab..."
"Better brew him a pot of coffee," I told his mother. "The final is in a half hour, and he's only semi-conscious."
I was studying for my history exam and really struggling. I asked my mum what I should do...
“Why don’t you help me with the laundry? Its whites today.” She said.
“How will that help?” I asked.
“Well I hear whitewashing is good for revising history.”
I don’t trust double blind studies
It’s literally the blind leading the blind.
Studying Chemistry at the moment, I just learned that Sulphuric acid should never be left in a metal beaker..
..It's an oxidant waiting to happen.
What does a seal study in school?
Art, Art, Art, Art, Art, ....
I got picked for this five-day-a-week, year-long sleep study. It pays $15,000 a month.
Researchers are studying beavers when clocks were put in their homes
What kind of equipment do you need to study birds?
An independent study showed that the average household in America uses 3.14 pumpkins between Halloween and thanksgiving
No wonder they call it pumpkin pi!!!!
Recent studies are examining the effects of replacing birdbath water with alcohol
Its bird-gin-ing research.
Have you heard the joke about the capital building?
I have two college friends who studied ancient Egyptian plumbing.
They were pharaoh faucet majors.
My brother is starting a history degree and one of his modules is studying the Stuarts
My dad asked, "Jackie or Rod?"
I wrote a card for my friend who just graduated high school and wants to study geology and/or paleontology in college. She also likes puns :)
Studies have shown that sheepskin face masks are incredibly effective...
They keep the baahhhhhd germs out.
How often do people who study scientific elements tell dad jokes?
I have decided to go to a city in SW France to study history and art.
I figure, what do I have Toulouse.
So, I read a study the other day claiming that "humans eat more bananas than monkeys".
Which - to me - sounded a bit obvious. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
