I call him Dr. Awkward
It's always in tents.
Mo-roccan.
This joke provided by dads giving babies a bottle in a rocking chair early in the morning.
But now I stand corrected.
It’s my dream job.
I think my parents will be so proud when they learn I'm a Cardi-B-ologist.
Namaste.
When I got mine the other day they told me I had to wait 3 weeks to get number 2.
A ***Ska***lar.
I said “Great, I can Babylon about it for hours!”
While this is minor, doctors haven't seen this side effect with the Johnson & Johnson vaccine.
This is thanks to their no tears formula.
An eJOKEcational one.
He's a stem major.
Cheetah
aren't happy.
It’s a mail dominated industry.
So I'm no expert at it, just a pundit.
Unfortunately, I had to drop out. I just didn't have the patients.
All she wants to do is study and practice. I’ve got to cook; I’ve got to clean. It’s tough.
But I have to say, at the end of the day, it does feel nice to be kneaded
The inside looks great! They have a penne ceiling.
The vet replied, "Nothing major, he's just really heavy!"
She asked me if I had a staring problem
Which to me sounded a bit obvious. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
He is a professor of biology
A genie-ologist.
If a man takes the helm, they're afraid that Helsinki
Go ogle it.
Mitosis!
...they will be subma-weiners.
It's a case of, in one ear and out of the uddet
His brother Frank was an absolute monster.
Strangely enough, they mostly only read the daddy issues.
It’s the neck.
A man walked into a bar with his dog and ordered a few drinks. At the end of the night, when he got the tab, he was astounded at the $50 check. He calls the bar tender over hoping to strike a deal. “Bartender, I only have 20 bucks I can’t pay for this drink. Let’s make a deal, if my dog can talk then you’ll let me have my drinks for free.” The bartender states, “there is no way that damn dog can talk! Pay me the money!” The man in response states, “No no sir, watch. Spots, what kind of situation are you in when you didn’t study for a test?” The dog, “Ruff!” The man carries on the bit, “See bar tender my dog can talk! You’re in a rough situation when you don’t study!” The bartender, “Now boy don’t play with me now, just pay your tab, that dog can’t talk!” “Well here, I’ll prove it to you. Spots, what texture is sandpaper?” “Ruff!” The bartender reaches hand over the counter, almost touching the man, “I won’t ask again sir.” “I have one more, just watch. Spots, who is the best baseball player?” “Ruff!” The bartender, done being fooled with, throws the man in his dog out of the bar, taking all his money. He looks at his dog sadly, “sorry spots, I guess he doesn’t believe you can talk...” The dog looks up, confused, “maybe I should’ve said DiMaggio.”
his jokes were so funny i started crying from laughter
i guess i have a sense of aqueous humor
They said there wasn't mushroom for a fungi like me.
A Hornithologist
It’s my dream job.
Which - to me - sounded a bit obvious. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
