Q. What language do stomachs speak?
My son asked, "Dad, every time I talk to girls, I get butterflies in my stomach! What should I do?!" I gently put my arm around him and replied, "That's easy son..."
"Stop eating caterpillars!"
My son asked me "where does poo come from?" I was a little flustered, but did my best to explain about food, stomach, intestines, digestion, etc.
He looked confused, then stared at me in stunned silence. After a few seconds he asked "And Tigger?"
When my wife caught me standing on the bathroom scales, sucking in my stomach, she laughed, “Ha! That’s not going to help!”
“Sure, it does.” I said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
Dr. Frankestein had a hard time creating his monster's stomach.
I was on the bathroom scales, sucking my stomach in.
Thinking I was trying to weigh less with this manouver, my wife commented, "I don't think that's going to help !!"
"Sure it does " I retorted "It's the only way I can see the numbers."
I ate a female cow for dinner and it upset my stomach...
A surgeon told me a story about how he dropped a tool into a patients stomach once.
Stained my shirt by spilling tequila on my stomach.
Something is telling me to ab-stain
What do you do when you have a stomach ache?
Always wanted to be a rodeo clown, but couldn’t because I have stomach problems
Had a dream yesterday. It was year 2021, There was a new pandemic of stomach flu...
We all had to wear diapers and we quickly recognised that masks in 2020 were not that bad.
When in a new relationship, does your stomach hurt because of the butterflies...
Or the farts you hold in.
What do you call it when you hear a disembodied stomach grumble?
Everyone should know that cows have four stomach compartments.
It's ruminantary knowledge!
I’m not the mouth, the stomach, the small or large intestines
Two bears are talking...
Bear1: “Man, my stomach is all tied up in knots.”
Bear2: “I told you not to swallow that boy-scout whole.”
What does Bill Duke say when he has an upset stomach?
Gonna have me some Tums. Gonna have me some Tums.
A hungry man is more satisfied eating food than a man with full stomach.
Except if he is a cannibal.
A boy is shoving candy into his face when his mom yells at him to stop.
"Don't eat so much candy all at once!"
"Why?" the boy replied.
"If you eat too much candy, you're stomach will get bigger, and bigger, and it will eventually explode!"
The boy is shocked by this image an immediately stops eating candy. The next day, the boy and mom go to church together, and the boy sits down next to a very visibly pregnant woman. The boy looks at her stomach, then up to her face, and says, "I know what you've been doing."
I did Yoga today morning and my stomach really hurt after that. Why?
Because I had Yoghurt before.
My wife keeps asking why I drink a pink liquid whenever my stomach is upset.
Frankly, it's not her bismuth.
My dog ate an entire box of crayons by himself and got a horrible stomach ache.
I saw a film about a spanner made of a human stomach.
Why did the cow‘s stomach ached?
Because there was no more rumen it
My stomach is acting up
I have a bad case of dire rear
Eating caterpillars makes me anxious
my stomach is filled with butterflies
Doctor: Sir, you have an upset stomach
Me: So that’s where all that crying is coming from.
What do spiders take when they get stomach aches?
i went to the doctor's woth my parents, and found out i have tapeworms in my stomach. the doctor showed us some pictures of tapeworms. and both my parents fainted.
i guess ive got a stomach for it
My dear old grandmother always used to say the way to a man's heart was through his stomach,
which is why she lost her job as a cardiac surgeon.
Today in veterinary class we learned that cows have 4 stomachs to digest the grasses they consume...
My wife always says the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach…
Lovely woman.
Useless surgeon.
My mother always used to say "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach"
Nice lady and all, I truly loved her, but a terrible surgeon
Just found out I have a cold and the stomach flu.
I’ve got the Friday Night Blights
If “a dream is a wish the heart makes...”
Does that make a fart a nightmare of the stomach?
My son asked, "Dad, every time I talk to girls, I get butterflies in my stomach! What should I do?!" I gently put my arm around him and replied, "That's easy son..."
"Stop eating caterpillars!"
My wife caught me standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in my stomach.
Ha! That’s not going to help, she said. Sure, it does, I said. Its the only way I can see the numbers.
My wife caught me standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in my stomach. “Ha! That’s not going to help,” she said.
“Sure, it does,” I said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
My wife caught me standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in my stomach...
“Ha! That’s not going to help,” she said.
“Sure, it does,” I said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
My wife caught me standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in my stomach...
“Ha! That’s not going to help,” she said.
“Sure, it does,” I said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
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