Stitch! Puns

fine, suture self.

Because Jumba believed everyone should start the day off on the right foot

Suture self!

Me: No, thanks.

Nurse: Fine. Suture self...

I told him to stop and that I would take him to the doctor for a more rofessional job. He told me he wanted to do it as he was working on his first aid merit badge for the boy scouts. So I said, "Suture self."

He replied “Okay, suture self”

Suture self" I said

Fine. Suture self.

Talking to her dad about pumpkin cheesecake cookies

Friend: "They are here for a limited time only." Her dad: "Well yeah of course once you eat them they are gone."

The second doctor responds, "Suture self."

Suture self

Out to lunch with a friend when he noticed a button was coming lose from his jacket.

Me: "you should learn how to sew, I've saved so much..."

Him: "so many"

Me: "yes, I do sew many clothes"

My wife and I just had our first yesterday. My son was less than 10 minutes old when the doctor was doing some post delivery stitching for my wife.

My wife said: "how many stitches is it going to be?"

Doc: "we're not actually counting stitches with this, it's a running stitch"

Without missing a beat, I said "is it going after the fridge?"

There was very brief pause of activity in the room, and then soft chuckles and head shakes. Someone muttered "that's a good one". I feel like I've been inaugurated.

Edit: to everyone confused by this, I'll explain

Back when landlines were the main way of calling people, and cellphones and caller ID was rare (or non-existent), making crank calls was a.... common past-time.

One of the common ones was went like this:

Victim: "hello?"

Pranker: "hi, is your fridge running?"

Victim: "yes, why?"

Pranker: "well then you better go catch it!"

And then you hang up. So the joke here is that because it was a "running stitch" it was running to catch the fridge.

<ba-dum tsss>

She said absolutely, I’m so excited I’ve never been able to

It ended in a tie.

She said “fine, suture self.”

It was a waist of time...

Stitches get snitches.

Stevie knicks

Suture self.

He's a Singer songwriter. Or sew it seams.

The story is likely a fabrication.

I'm calling it Suture Self.

He is such a LED-back person.

We got our daughter a craft table for her 11th Birthday this past weekend. She also got the sewing machine too.

With gratitude, she smiles and says with a wink, “That is sew cool”.

Does anyone know any Embroidery puns or puns relating to stitching, needle, thread, hoops.?

In fact, I know she seamstressed

Shit. Wrong thread.

My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”

Needless to say I was in stitches.

It was replete with pleats.

It'll leave you in stitches

The ThRed Cross.

Finally he cut it out.

"Fine," i said. "Suture self."

Suture self

Suture self.

I was de-pleated.