Steal Car Puns

The policemen are working tirelessly to get him

They stole the sticker and left the car.

Because their gods are all arms

The police are working tirelessly to arrest him.

They’ve been working tirelessly to find him

He was caught in the ACT

It was a bassless accusation.

Police are attempting to catch him tyrelessly

Police are working tirelessly trying to find them.

He took it badly.

But sometimes I have trouble getting into the driver’s seat.

The work of Steven Wright, he's the famous Erudite (comic) scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates."

1   - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2   - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.

3   - Half the people you know are below average.

4   - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

6   - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7   - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

8   - If you want the rainbow, you have got to put up with the rain.

9   - All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ...... But she left me before we met.

12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?

13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.

19 - I intend to live forever... So far, so good.

21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name.

25 - If at first, you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

26 - A conclusion is a place where you got tired of thinking.

27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.

34 - If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

I put up Punderdome cards on my door every day. Today's cards were too much fun not to share. What else can you come up with?

https://preview.redd.it/fru7gc2epjo21.jpg?width=2160&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=370a3ac0776b86863ed4ec133f9b667ec190566f

Project Run-a-way

America's Next Top Money Launderer

Keeping Up with the Car-Jackings

Naked & Public Exposure

My Solitary Confinement Life

The Real House-arrest Wives

The Great British Breaking & Entering

So You Think You Can Drink & Drive?

America's Got Theft

Pawn(ing Stolen Goods) Stars

Jersey Shore You Should Steal That Car

Who Wants to be an Arrested Felon?

Say Yes to the Drugs

Arson Daily

What else do can you think of?!

My Dad and I were watching a car auction last night. A Corvette went for low money and I exclaimed "That's a steal!" to wich my dad replied "No, that's fiberglass!"

Dad: I think someone's stealing the neighbors car.

Girlfriend: No dad that's his son, he's just washing it for him

Dad: Maybe he just wants a clean get away?

The police is working tirelessly to catch him.

The police are working tirelessly to catch him

The police are working tirelessly to catch him

Police are working tirelessly to catch him

The police are working tirelessly to catch him.

The police have been working tirelessly to catch him.

The authorities are working tirelessly to catch him!

Authorities have been working tirelessly to catch him.

The police have been working tirelessly to catch him

The police are working tirelessly to catch him

The police are working tirelessly to catch him.

Police are working tirelessly to catch him

They are working tirelessly to catch him!

The cops are working tirelessly to catch him (Got it from r/memes)

I heard on the news there was a guy in town stealing the wheels of police cars. The cops are working tirelessly to catch him

A man has been stealing police cars wheels, the police are working tirelessly to catch him

Credit to u/MahicShah