Setting: Camp LeJeune, NC in 1998. French Creek (coughFELONYCREEKcough) area, to be exact.
As a mechanic, it's not always turning wrenches and making things go vroom. Sometimes, you actually had to sit down and order the parts you needed to turn wrenches on to make the things go vroom. That's where young PFC Boogerchute found himself one morning, sitting in the maintenance office filling out EROSL's for parts (old school, I know).
In the office with me was our shop chief, Sgt. R, and another gentleman that was easily the biggest fountain of information and knowledge I met throughout my entire career. Y'see, somehow someway, my shop had a CWO5 (yes, dear reader, they DO exist) as our maintenance officer. CWO5 "Mac" was a skinny dude on the shorter side, wore glasses, seemed to have a coffee cup surgically fused to his hand, and just kinda roamed the shop to be available if anyone needed him. You'd never see him at a PT formation, but if you needed knowledge inside the shop he was always there.
I might also add that none of us were wearing our blouses that day (summer in North Carolina in a building without AC, whatchagonnadobrother). Sgt. R and I both were in rolled-down coveralls, and CWO5 Mac was in "boots and utes".
The truck I was working on was for one of the grunt units across base, and the damned thing was snake-bit. We'd get one part fixed, another part would break. Get that one fixed, something else would break. This had been going on for about a month or so at this point, I think every mechanic in the platoon had had their grubby meat hooks on it at one point or another (PFC Boogerchute was still in his Bob the Builder stage......"can I fix it?? YES I CAN!!!).
So I'm sitting there ordering parts when our platoon office door BLOWS open and some SSgt. that none of us had ever seen before strides into the room like he owns the place. First words out of this dude's mouth is "WHO'S THE SHOP CHIEF OF THIS CLUSTERFUCK UNIT". Sgt. R responds, SSgt. tells him "good, you stand the fuck by right there SERGEANT". He then turns 90Β° to his right, sees the short skinny guy with glasses and a cup of coffee in his hand and says "YOU!!! GO GET YOUR DAMNED MAINTENANCE OFFICER RIGHT NOW".
Y'all.....I wanted to speak up, I really did. I could have saved this SSgt, had I just had the fortitude to flap my jaws at that exact moment. However, this is a pissed off SSgt, and I am but a mere PFC that doesn't yet rate speaking to a Staff Non-Commissioned
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If you are looking for the Best of 2019 Winners - HERE YOU GO.
If you are looking for the Best of 2020 Winners - HERE YOU GO.
If you are looking for the Summer Shutdown posts, they are HERE.
If you are looking for the Moderator Drunken AMA post, it is HERE.
October has been fun. /u/BikerJedi wrote three new stories, something he hasn't done in years. We had some scary Halloween stories. /u/fullinversion82 had a meltdown and banned something like 80,000 people and almost broke Mjolnir. We had a lot of really good conversation in the comments this month too. A few bans notwithstanding, y'all make this a great freaking community, and the moderation team appreciates you. Thank you for being here. Spread the gospel. And I command unto Thee, go forth and bring us chill dudes and dudettes to share in the gospel of /r/MilitaryStories.
We are sure the community is just SHOCKED to hear that /u/lapsed__pacifist DIDN'T win this month. He actually told us that he wouldn't write anything this month. Dude has some swagger. Not that he hasn't earned it.
Having said that, "The day I got to watch a Staff Sergeant's soul leave his body...." is our Story of the Month. Congrats, /u/BoogerChute. Your story has been gilded and you may have a flair change if you like, but we know you also like your "Obviously full of shit" flair. Let us know.
Our Runner Up is a family tale this month, "My Grandfatherβs Story: Shot down over France, returned to a Heroβs welcome.". Your story has been gilded. You can also have custom flair if you like. The mod team liked this story as we enjoy all WWII stories. To have pictures and all that to go with it is nice too. Congratulations.
Our Honorable Mention for this month is a short but funny one, ["Don't sleep there dude, you'll ruin a g
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So we were on our way to a funeral in full dress Dress Blue Alphas, but a lot of us had been working nights and hadn't had time to get new buckles, lint rollers, EGA's, etc, so we made a px run (stop at a store that has these things) with the most serviceable of our items. I was a Lance Corporal at the time, and working the register was a MCCS Staff Sergeant. Now, this wasn't ball season, it was June, and I can't think of any time other than funerals and the ball that I've put on my Alpha's. As I got to the register, the staff sergeant said "Hey there devil" so I replied "Hi, how are you?". He looked at me and said "I know it's how are you STAFF SERGEANT" so I replied "How are you staff sergeant" "I'm good, say, you guys are dressed up to day, what's the occasion?" I kind of snapped "A funeral STAFF SERGEANT. Our friend died STAFF SERGEANT. We're going to meet with his family STAFF SERGEANT." he kind just went "Oh, a, sorry about that" "Thank you, STAFF SERGEANT. Have a nice day, STAFF SERGEANT." "Ye-yeah, you too."
