On Father's Day, my wife and kids woke me up, lifted their coffee cups and said, "You're great, splendid, magnificent, superb, fantastic"
Me: What's this?
Wife: When I asked you what you wanted for your father's day breakfast, you said 'just a coffee and synonym toast'.
My son was so happy with the response to his joke yesterday he wanted me to share this one with you too. What’s the most reliable part of the human body?
Your fingers. You can always count on them.
My wife's bra has the brand name "Splendid", embroidered on the band under one of the cups ...
I just took a sharpie and wrote "Also quite nice" under the other one.
A pirate walks into a bar with a brightly plumaged parrot on his shoulder
The barkeeper says “Wow! Where did you find this splendid creature?”
“I found him on the beach with his peg leg stuck in the sand” replies the parrot.
nothing beats a fried egg
