It's the amazing spi(e)derman (x-post r/pics)
What do you call a Chinese spy?
You do know that modern appliances are really spying on us, and sending back data on our habits. In fact..
Vacuum cleaners have been gathering dirt on us for years.
A spy was killed in his tea
He paid a steep price for what he knew.
My neighbor thinks I spy on her.
I would tell her otherwise, but she's in the shower right now.
Who was the first under water spy?
Why doesn't james bond fart in bed?
Because it'll blow his cover
A German spy gave themself away when I sneezed. They said, "gesundheit!"
It was a blessing in disguise.
If you think that your phone, laptop, microwave and fridge spying on you is bad
Then you should know that your vaccum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for a while .
What do you call a spy who bleaches his hair?
What do you call a gentleman spy?
What's the best way to spy on Africa?
Cardi B went into hiding after someone called her a Russian spy
What does a spy do when he catches cold?
My doctor says I should start eating hot peppers to boost my immune system.
He said they're full of Vitamin Spi-C!
Did you hear about the shoemaker who was a spy?
He would always travel inclognito.
What dose a spy do before bed
My wife found out I cheated when she found all of the letters I'd been hiding
She swore she will never play Scrabble with me again
You need a pilots license before you become a spy.
After all, you'll be in da skies.
Did you hear about the spies who planted tiny microphones inside a box of tic-tacs?
Dad stumbles out of the pub and spies a Nun waiting for a bus over the road..
Somehow he manages to weave through traffic and lands a punch so hard the nun hits the deck spitting teeth.
"HAH!!" shouts Dad.. "NOT SO TOUGH AFTER-ALL EH, BATMAN??!!!!"
Bad packaging
I recently spied a bag of gummy worms which said “No Artificial Flavors”.
Which got me to wondering: who is buying gummy worms hoping they’ll tast like real worms?
How do you spy on chrome?
Why do spies keep working even when they're asleep ?
Did you hear about the spies trying to infiltrate japan, Italy, and Germany in WWII?
I snuck up behind my daughter and whispered, "I think our microwave and our TV are spying on us!!! And I also think our vacuum cleaner..."
"...has been gathering dirt on us for years!"
Two cowboys walking through the plains, no food or water, death imminent. When through hazy vision one of them spies a tree, covered in bacon by an oasis of pure clean. One cowboy hide behind a rock, as his confused friend runs to the tree... only to be gunned down by some bandits.
The second cowboy is relieved to be alive, and thankful that he knew that that was no bacon tree.
It was a ham bush
I recently picked up a book about spies.
I read it undercover to cover.
Did you here about the Italian spy...
What do you call it when two spies named james try to become friends?
Cardi B’s sister used to spy for the Russian government, but refuses to talk about it publicly
My spy boyfriend had a punch machine accident.
What do you call two female lovers spying on the government.
A spy walks into a science lab. When asked who he is, he says “The name’s bond...
It was fun being a spy til they put me in a windy city with only a blanket for camouflage
My cover was blown constantly
A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.
I guess you could say they perform... thespionage
Why did the spy cross the road?
He didn't. He was never really on your side.
What type of shoes do spies wear?
How many spies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
What do you call an actor who's a spy?
Apparently they are still searching for the spy plane that was shot down over the former Soviet Union in 1960.
They still haven’t found what they’re looking for.
I ran into actor Matt Damon and told him I loved his recent spy thriller film. He got real mad and said:
I wasn’t Bourne yesterday, you know.
With everyone quarantined and staying inside, there is no one out to spy on or follow around...
The stalk market is very weak.
Don't be worried about your smartphone and TV spying on you.
Your vacuum has been gathering dirt on you for years!
Don't be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you.
Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.
Don't worry about your smartphone or computer spying on you...
Your vacuum has been gathering dirt on you for years
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