Father figures are for life.
Itβs a faux pas
My son did and now he has a bunch of viruses on his computer.
Itβs the Jehovahβs witnesses working from home
Could be spam.
The first letter.
"not in this decade", "see ya next decade" and the like are only good for the next 10 days...
Now that 2019 is around the corner, you can achieve ultimate dad stats by sending a message to your contacts near the end of 2018. Then, send "Why did you wait a year to respond ?".
This only works once a year so be prepared.
There is a high chance that you were subjected to capital punishment.
Banana, spoon, table
because it's hard to see the joke when there's no pun indented.
Be sure to tell your coworkers you'll see them next year!
Youβll strain your eyes
That subreddit is rather shady
I keep reading out jokes to my girlfriend as I find them on reddit, so she is too prepared for stupid jokes. I just tried this one, and it definitely didn't work... I should have waited. I only had one shot..
"Hey, why does this house smell like updog?"
"Get off reddit"
Studies have found they are 90% responsible for causing dry skin!
Last night, my family came to pick me up from work after the kids' swim lessons. They were tired, hungry, grumpy, hungry, and hungry on the drive home.
My 6 year old: "Ugh... I'm going to die..."
Me: "You're right; we're all going to die. What are you going to die of?"
6yo: "Hunger and your jokes."
Me: "Well, I hope my jokes get you first. That sounds like a better way to go."
You heard it here first, folks. Dad jokes can potentially kill faster than starvation. Wield them carefully.
I would just like to thank everyone who posts here on /r/dadjokes Regardless of how shitty and awful my day at work may be, you all manage to make me laugh. And so, from the bottom of my happy heart, I would like to thank each and every one of you awesome folks. :D
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIWNGFwLADo
http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2ti69w/tifu_by_taking_my_dad_to_the_supermarket_and/
I read this and figured you guys would like to read this too.
Be courteous to the DeDutch waitstaff (and to yourself) this holiday season by leaving your dads at home before dining at DeDutch. Following is just a small sample of jokes that your dad WILL make after ordering his DeBratwurst from DeLunch menu on his DeClub card.
- I have to go to DeWashroom.
- When the waitress asks how the food is, the only responses will be either "DeLightful", or "DeLicious".
- Pass DeSalt.
- Make sure to leave a good Detip for the DeService!
- You've got DeHollandaise sauce on your DeShirt!
The waitstaff will pretend to laugh every time. But secretly they die inside a little every time.
It's really quite DeSpicable.
