A man was sentenced to 20 years in prison when he inadvertently contaminated the food supply of 30 specimens of America’s national bird.

His actions were highly ill-eagle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/linknt01
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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I went to the aquarium and peed on one of the specimens

The manager saw me and exclaimed "You did that on porpoise!!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/holyman222
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
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What's a specimen?

An Italian astronaut

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BunzarTheFuzzy
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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I ordered an egg and a chicken of Amazon

I wonder which one will come first

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlippTheNipp
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
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Buwanna

I recall from my youth, a time of great adventure. My friends and I on safari hunting the Great North-American Man-Eating Female Butt-Ox.

The hunt was difficult and expensive. Once one has been identified as an acceptable specimen you need to slow its wits and dull its decision making process. This is best accomplished with loud music, flashing lights and alcohol. But even then the hunt can be foiled by rushing in to early. If you're successful, you then need to separate it from the pack. This is the trickiest bit as less than ideal pack members will often fight ruthlessly to "protect" your target.

But even the most successful outings are not without risk. On several occasions I found myself entangled in a wrestling match for hours. But there lies the fruit of the hunt...

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πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
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Once I had the privilege of meeting an Italian astronaut.

He was quite the specimen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bunselpower
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
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a dad joke for mineral collectors

Q: what do you call it when you can't locate your favorite apatite specimen?

A: a loss of apatite.

:(

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πŸ‘€︎ u/platetone
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2015
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Working in a lab on my first day

A guy drops off a specimen behind me and says this must be a really cool specimen. I turn around and sure enough its in a bag with an ice pack. What a great start to the shift!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shum1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2015
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A wild dad joke appeared while I was at a museum...

I was touring a natural science museum with my extended family, and happened to pause at a large prehistoric fish skeleton. While reading the information about the specimen, I saw a new dad walk by with his wife and two very young children. He paused with his daughter and told her, "They call this fish the sea-rex!".

I hope that father goes far.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/armistice90
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2013
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A student got me today

Three students had four microscopes set up to look at specimens for biology lab today. They moved from one microscope to the next as a group. I asked why they were doing this instead of one person per microscope. One of them replied "we are just scoping things out."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/teamsloth
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2014
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A scientist and his assistant

A scientist and his assistant are in the lab. In front of them is a tank with two fish swimming around. the scientist says to his assistant, "Go into the specimen room and get two more fish."

So the assistant grabs a cart, goes across the hall to the specimen room, puts in his access code on the number panel, pushes the cart in, picks up two fish bowls, each with a fish swimming around, and places them in the cart.

Then he pushes the cart back across the hall into the lab, checking to make sure the door to the specimen room shuts behind him, brings the cart in.

The scientist says, "Pour each fish into the tank with the other two."

So the assistant pushes the cart right next to the tank, picks up each bowl and pours them into the tank with the other fish "

The scientist says, "Now go get some electrical wire out of the storage room."

So the assistant leaves the lab, walks down the hall to the storage room, puts in his access code, grabs a coil of copper wire, marks how much he took on the inventory sign off sheet, leaves the storage room, and locks the door behind him.

So he walks back into the lab with the wire, and the scientist says, "Cut two pieces, each about four feet and place one end of each in the tank."

So the assistant unwraps about eight feet of the copper wire, cuts it in two pieces, and bends one end of each length so they hang on the edge of the tank with six inches into the water.

Then the scientist says, " Now plug each piece of copper wire into that electrical outlet and electrocute the fish "

And the assistant says, "Four watt porpoise?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Redremnant
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2014
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What is a specimen?

an Italian astronaut

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πŸ“…︎ May 10 2015
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