This town has a festival every year for the spawning salmon. They are rife with fish puns. It’s my favorite time of year.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBrontosaurus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
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My town throws a festival for the salmon spawn each year. This is what they call companies that contribute a significant amount of money.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBrontosaurus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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What do you call a dad joke that spawned more jokes?

A grandad joke

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kuroha_zone
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
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I work with a small town search and rescue. We recently had a guy visiting from the big city to do some kayaking on the river.

He doesn't know the area and gets himself lost. All he does know is that there are a lot of grizzly bears roaming around during the salmon spawn this time of year, so he's quite afraid to get out of his kayak.

The temperature starts to drop. He needs to stay warm, and decides to build a fire inside his little boat on the river.

He learnt a valuable lesson that night: you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Islander399
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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They're to die for.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HemperorSean
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
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What did Mommy Spore & Daddy Spore name their first Baby Boy??

FunGus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bad11ama
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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My friend is making a lot of money by selling photos of salmon dressed up in human clothes.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
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[Meta] That front page video starting to spawn all these joke posts on this sub has me feeling like that Guy who...

...just likes to see the world burn

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notwutiwantd
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2017
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Salmon must have a good data plan...

They are always streaming

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dmharper80
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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It's said that just before death, your entire life flashes before your eyes.

Not in the case of Buddhists. They hear 'Spawning in 3..2..1..'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
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I think my brother is ready for kids.

"Everyone's freaking out that Matt Damon is bourne again, who cares what his religion is. He's just an actor."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShakesOfMilk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2014
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I went to a sushi bar and ordered the salmon roe...

It was a spawn-taneous decision

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πŸ‘€︎ u/artcostanza82
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2018
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My dad got me with this Pokemon joke

I was saying how pokemon spawn in certain locations, like some types can be found by water while others are in cemeteries.

He said, "if you go to a Catholic cemetery can you find a pope-emon?" Even though his kids are grown, he's still got it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gfjq23
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2016
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Are you alright?

No, I'm half left.


My fiance told me last night, while discussing terrible but great jokes, that her dad would let that one rip all too frequently when she was younger. Much eye rolling. I think it's hilarious and will pass on the tradition when we spawn smaller humans.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IsaacJDean
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2017
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A Warframe related dad joke

I was playing Warframe with a few buddies on Teamspeak. One of them is annoyed with the roll he got from his void relic and that all he'd get was a Forma Blueprint.

To which I replied "Well, it spawned forma reason."

Cue groans from chat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clbull
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2017
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