What is a physicist's favorite soldier?

General Relativity

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πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
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I was trying to create a super soldier in my lab, but I accidentally created a very thin man who could tell the future.

At least I was still able to make a slight prophet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrahamRavity
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
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When does a medieval soldier sleep?

Knight time

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smellypants5379
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
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Did you hear about the soldier who was attacked with mustard gas and pepper spray?

He was a seasoned veteran!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clkish1988
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
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If you have the soldiers named Salt and Pepper in your squad then consider yourself lucky.

They're seasoned veterans

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FartyMcFry89
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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Why did the Roman Soldiers have to crucify Jesus 6ft away from the 2 thieves?

...to prevent cross-contamination.

Happy Easter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
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A soldier in WW2 was shot in the chest and the bullet was stopped by a stack of quarters in his pocket.

He said it was his life savings.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
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There were 2 ancient soldiers on a boat escaping Greece.

One yelled "ROW MAN!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoesMemories
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
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Getting a Roman soldier to stand next to an Irishman ...

... requires a lot of Gaul.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brianingram
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2021
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A soldier is called in to speak to a sergeant...

The sergeant says: "I didn't see you today in the camouflage test"

"That's the idea, Sergeant"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_Fishy_Boi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
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Did you know Shakespeare had a brother who was a foot soldier in the military?

He would get so nervous before battle that he couldn't keep his hands from shaking. The say he wielded quite the shaky-spear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Mjolner_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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What day does a soldier hate?

March 4^th !

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Newbosterone
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
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The coins in a WW1 soldiers pocket saved him from a bullet.

Some might say it was his life savings.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NorupGames
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
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What do you call a hairy elite soldier?

A SASquatch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cman_yall
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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What's the one month all soldiers hate?

March!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KermitDFwog
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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What did the German soldier say to the French soldier at the end of WWI?

Verdun.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VaiterZen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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What do you call a group of baby soldiers?

An infantry

Side note: I will be a first time father at the end of March. I am proud to join the dad joke ranks, my wife and son will learn to appreciate the content from this subreddit 😬

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The-Thong-Song
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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What do you call a baby soldier?

An INFANTry man

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drogers5606
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
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How do 490 Roman soldiers laugh?

XD

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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Why did the Soviet army have such great soldiers

They were all excellent at marxmanship

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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Soldier 1: "zz~ WE'RE TAKING A LOT OF SHOTS OVER HERE!"

Soldier 2: "zz~ ALRIGHT, DON'T DRINK TOO MUCH!"

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
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What did the soldier say to General Sherman when he was asked to do something

"Sher-man"

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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What do Jawas do during a pandemic?

They "quarantini"!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aka_Jack
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
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Why couldn't the confederate soldier stay married?

Because he succeeded from the union

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bagel-X
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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A German soldier during World War II was embellishing the number of troops he had with him

When the Allies thought it was just him, he claimed there were not 1 but 2. Then he changed his story to 3. Then he said 5, then 8, then 13, and finally 21. When the Allies made it to his position, they discovered that it actually was just him.

Turns out he was a fibber nazi.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BradC
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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It should be ganderstepping since most Nazi soldiers were male.

What's good for the goose, I guess.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OOOH_WHATS_THIS
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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How do soldiers stay hidden in the desert?

Camelflage

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blisspoint2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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Two fishes were in a tank. Other said:

How do you drive this thing?

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
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A Roman Soldier caught the Bartender's eye and gave him the two fingers sign..

" Five beers coming up " said the Bartender.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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Why are the regular soldier ants the largest in their species?

Because they are G-I-ants

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sq009
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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Ve are the master chiefs

What do you call the perfect German soldiers?

Veteran-arians

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elonzalor
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
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What do you call sperm from a cheating soldier?

Dishonorable discharge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/New-Kekistan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
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A woman told me she was in love with 14 soldiers and didn't know what to do.

I told her not to worry - it was clearly just a platoonic relationship.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porkchop_d_clown
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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What vehicle did German soldiers use to drive around during the second world war?

The Swasti-car.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotatokingXII
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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Finding a woman sobbing because she had locked her keys in the car, a passing soldier assures her that he can help. /r/Jokes/comments/hrlc58/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLegendOfTrain
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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Where does the army put young soldiers?

The infantry.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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Do it soldier
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VinceDC
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
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Why was the soldier pinned down?

He was under a tack

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πŸ‘€︎ u/imnotcreative29
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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What do you call a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lordofthstrings
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
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Did you hear about the soldier who got hit with mustard gas and pepper spray?

He's a seasoned veteran

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray was a seasoned veteran.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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What do you call a soldier who has survived mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran

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πŸ‘€︎ u/liverpool135
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray was a seasoned veteran.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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a soldier once survived pepper spray and mustard gas

he was a seasoned veteran

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Galeelo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
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