My dad had to have surgery on his leg due to a venomous snake bite.


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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/P_as_n_Pterodactyl
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
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What do you call a snake that works for the government?

A Civil Serpent.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 598
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve.

It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte.

And then everything crashed.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ENJOYblet
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 16 2018
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One of my boy scouts asked me, "Sir, is this snake poisonous?"

I said, "No, that snake's not poisonous at all."

So the boy picks up the snake which bites him, and the boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror.

I continued, "But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let's get it right next time, boys."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/madazzahatter
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 28 2017
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Puns for Kids

The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.

Puns for Kids

Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!

What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!

Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.

What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!

Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.

The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.

How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.

What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!

No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.

Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasnโ€™t chicken!

What musical is about a train conductor? โ€œMy Fare, Ladyโ€.

A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.

What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.

What animals are on legal documents? Seals!

Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!

Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.

Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!

How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!

Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!

Dockyard: A physicianโ€™s garden.

What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!

The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.

โ€œWhatโ€™s purple and 5000 miles long?โ€ โ€œOoh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!โ€

Every calendarโ€™s days are numbered.

This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. โ€œFour bucks,โ€ says the bartender. โ€œPut it on my bill.โ€

I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.

What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!

When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When heโ€™s a dandelion (dandy lion).

Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.

A bicycle canโ€™t stand on its own because it is

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Punsville
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
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