Smack Talk Puns

Wife: [Talking about Amazon's Prime Photos app] Me: Did I tell you my friend just bought his house off of Amazon's latest app? Wife: No. What's their latest app? Me: Prime Real Estate. Me: [Gets smacked.]

The setup: Yesterday morning as I left for work I busted our 16yo son sneaking a girl in to the house. Since I had to get to work I just took all of his electronics. Later in the evening I had a long honest talk with him. Explaining (once again) that I know he's going to fool around but he can't be doing it while his siblings are home alone with him.

I finished the conversation with him by asking if I should get him a condom supply. He responded by telling me that he had only been to second base and that there was time yet.

So I went to bed where my wife asked how it went. After filling her in I ended by letting her know that our son had been to 2nd base.

She replied, "Why would you tell me that?!"

I looked her dead in the eyes and replied "Just wanted to keep you abreast of the situation."

She smacked me.

Setting the scene: a rainy evening. Sitting in living room. Talking about a movie.
SUDDENLY
DAD: Oh! There's reindeer on the roof!
quizzical looks
DAD: (smacks forehead theatrically) I mean, there's rain on the roof, dear!