It’s kind of sad that Christianity, Judaism, and Islam have been fighting each other for centuries.
Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.
A little boy ran up to me " please help, my Dad is in a fight " I followed and we came across two men fighting. I said, " Ok, which one is your Dad ? " ..
.. " I dunno, that's what they're fighting about "
I recently finished fire fighting school
It’s where I got my first degree
I used to be a judge for the world orchestra championships, but I quit because too many of them were coming out with outlandish sob stories to win me over...
Always trying to get the symphony vote.
Watched the origami world championships last night,
It was on pay-per-view.
Bit of a scam though,
Both teams folded.
I was lucky enough to witness the first narcoleptic contestants ever to compete at the World Pie Eating Championship.
What do you call an all marsupial fighting championship?
Were they really fighting?
Or were they just Joshing around?
If your ever in a sword fight, try to chop their feet off
Then you will de-feet him
What happens when you fight a dinosaur?
My wife asked, “If someone’s body just isn’t fighting the virus, would getting the vaccine help?”
I told her I think it’s worth a shot
There will be point in the future when Canada will take over the world.
And then you will all be sorry.
The ultimate dad joke
When your baby boy is born on the way to the hospital, and you name him Carson.
Never challenge the grim reaper to a pillow fight....
Unless you’re ready for the reaper cushions!
I saw two snails fighting the other day.
They were really slugging it out.
True story: As kids, my sister and I were fighting over the TV remote and it got heated. The remote flew across the room and a couple AAA batteries fell out. My sister threw one at me, and I grabbed a nearby salt shaker and threw it at her.
My mother, who was watching this go down, just laughs and says, "Assault and battery!"
She then left the room, cackling.
I just saw a 90-year-old guy fight an 80-year-old guy.
I got in a fight with my acupuncturist and stabbed him
He said he never felt better
What did the gardener say to the two men who were fighting?
If two vegans get in a fight...
... is it still considered a beef?
With the pandemic, we all had to fight through 2020.
What did the Queen Bee say to the worker bees who were fighting?
She asked them to bee-hive
I once entered the world kleptomaniac championships...
I took gold, silver and bronze.
Boxers don’t have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is?
They don't fancy each other.
I got into a fight with a guy who had a lazy eye
I just didn't like the way he was looking at me
I hate the word "xenophobia", it sounds so...
A mime broke his left arm in a bar fight and got arrested,
He still has the right to remain silent.
Q: what was it like to fight Medusa?
A: At first I was afraid, then I was petrified...
2020 and 2021 were fighting for the "Worst Year Ever" award.
I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet?
I asked my 18 brothers and sisters and they don't know either.
Why shouldn’t you ever fight a dinosaur?
You’ll just get Jurasskicked.
Looks like Earth & Mars are fighting again
Earth just told Mars to "get a life"
What do you call a cat who walks funny but can win any fight?
I got into a fight with my brother on the way to church today because he was positive that Jesus was an Intel processor guy....
When anybody with half a brain clearly knows he has a Ryzen
My monkey friend says that he can use martial arts to fight off disease. I think he's tricking me and he says
I got into a fight with 1,3,5,7 and 9
The odds were against me.
My town just set the record for the longest line fighting each other
You could see the punch line coming from a mile away
What do you call a venue designed for food fights?
An all you can yeet buffet.
What do you call it when one owl samurai wins a fight with another owl samurai?
Why did the torn piece of paper beat the regular piece of paper in a fight
You should never fight a dinosaur
You'll only get jurasskicked
Never Challenge Death to a Pillow fight.....
...Unless you are prepared for the Reaper Cushions.
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