Why did the cannibalistic Roman slave warrior show no remorse over his recent female victim?

Because he was gladiator.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/assafstone
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
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I like my coffee like I like slaves

Free

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πŸ‘€︎ u/michaelveyrocks
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
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What do you call a council of feudal slaves?

A serf board

What does the king do when he dislikes their recommendations?

He hangs ten

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LookITriedHard
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
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Why did the slave go to college?

To pick up his Master's degree.

p. s. read this joke long time ago in one of the sub reddit, thought this belonged here too

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Adster2171
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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What if Cinderella was a baking slave instead of a cleaning slave

Would her name be β€˜Mozzarella’?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crispy_Scoundrel
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
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7 years a slave

I'm visiting my parents and my dad tells me he watched 7 years a slave. My mom goes 'you mean 12 years a slave?'

My dads response?

'No, I haven't finished watching it yet.'

πŸ‘︎ 559
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Camp_Anaawanna
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2015
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12 years a slave

Dad- Any movies out that you wanna see? 7 Years A Slave looks pretty good

Me- I think it's 12 Years A Slave

Dad: I must've heard about the abridged version.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stinkyshrimp
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2013
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Came up with this about a year ago, still my greatest achievement. Did you hear about the sale at the Mexican slave market?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gen_Hazard
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2014
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What’s the perfect name to give to your first sim?

Simone

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wxlson
πŸ“…︎ May 14
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Now im hungry...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShadowsGirl9
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
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My family was talking about my sisters project where she had to make a Roman theatre. In it she put some guys stabbing each other, as a demonstration of how plays sometimes consisted of people actually killing each other to make it more realistic.

I mentioned that they used slaves and criminals, since they would have a hard time getting actors to play the part of someone that actually dies, and my dad disagreed.

He said: No, people were dying to have that job.

Sorry if something like this has already been posted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ytrbpt_Hsbom
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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Why did the pickle go the 99 cent store?

He wanted to get a good dill.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CA__Mac
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
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I made a β€œsuggestion for improvement” to my wife regarding her cooking.

She responded β€œyou know, I slave away all day in this kitchen..”

So I cut in: β€œand you still can’t seem to get it right.”

On the plus side, it’s way roomier than I would have expected in this doghouse.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phisopholer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2018
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Moses and the Pharaoh

A long, long time ago in Egypt the Israelites were held as slaves. One day the evil Pharaoh passed a decree that no Israelite could cut the grass outside their house.

The grass grew and grew, covering the houses and making it quite an ordeal for the Israelites to go to work in the morning, which put a bit of a strain on the old pyramid building that was all the rage at the time. But Pharaoh didn't care and the edict still stood. No Israelite could cut the grass outside their home.

Eventually the elders had had enough and called upon Moses, who had a bit of a rapport with Pharaoh, being brought up together and all that jazz.

"Moses, you must convince Pharaoh to see sense and let us remove the grass from outside our homes!" they implored.

Moses nodded, picked up his staff and sought an audience with Pharaoh.

In the royal chambers, Moses approached Pharaoh. "Yes, Moses? How can I help?" asked Pharaoh.

Moses stood tall, stared deep into Pharaoh's eyes, raised his staff aloft, cleared

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/grubbymitts
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2018
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It sucks when you just can't get a person...

because you've been refused to purchase slaves.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kaleidosky
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2015
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Dancing queen

My dad and I were talking about the civil war and the use of slaves and the freedom movement and the such a while ago, (he's a history teacher at the local high school). "Dancing Queen" came on the radio and he leaned over and said, "do you know what people who like this band should be called? Abba-listen-ists" and laughed by himself for a solid minute.

Please help

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fastersnail
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2015
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Every time I asked my dad where my mom was...

Every time I would ask my dad where my mom was growing up, he would reply: "Sold her as a slave."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cire353
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2013
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Semi-cruel Dad Joke

My Dad and I were working on outing up a fence together in the backyard, and he was changing the blade on a electric saw he had. He called me over so I can learn how to change the blade (so later in life I can be a proper handyman and all that jazz), except the electric saw he was using was extremely old and very outdated. So I told him, "Dad I really don't think I need to learn that as I doubt I will ever use that." To which he replied, "I thought the same thing when I was your age, then they took all my slaves away."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/That_one_guy-
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2014
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Got my mom last month

Last month, I bought a book of skits from a store. I was reading a few of the skits out loud, and my mom mentioned Who's On First. My brother didn't believe it was 70 years old. Mom then said that there was a section of a Greek comedy that was very similar to Monty Python's Parrot Sketch, only with a dead slave instead of a dead parrot.

Me: "Monty Python resurrected that joke far more effectively than that guy wishes he could've resurrected the parrot."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RotWS
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2015
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My dad watched a movie...

Dad: Watched 11 Years A Slave last night Me: You mean 12 Years? Dad: No, this was a shorter version, they cut a year out

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πŸ‘€︎ u/saracakes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2014
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I like my coffee how I like my slaves

Free

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fr4gnetic
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2017
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