Skimmed Puns

Throwing the cow across the lake

Because the devil is in the details

They walked through the flower gardens at the park. They skimmed stones across the lake. They fed the ducks bread.

It was a perfect Sunday.

Then daddy tomato had a call that his brother was in hospital. Across the road was a bus destined for that very place.

They ran back through the park dodging ducks and tripping on stones and getting tangled in foliage. Baby tomato was starting to lag a little. So daddy tomato, in a panic, shot glances at the arriving bus and his helpless offspring. He Ran to his son and with all his might squashed him into the pavement with his Dr Martins boots and said

"Ketchup"

You just read a lot of books.

Past your eyesd.

So today at work, my boss asked us to skim through a document regarding a new/old procedure. When she finished I ask if I could almond milk it since I don't drink dairy.

They actually laughed.

I don't know if I should feel proud or embarrassed for them that they thought it was actually funny.

Maybe a bit of a and b.

Turns out they were skimming a bit off the top.

"Sorry I must've skimmed past it."

My brother was complaining that his phone was dying and he said, "my phone is 2%."
Without missing a beat, my dad said, "That's funny, mine is skim."

My mom was making a cup of tea and since I was getting something out of the fridge, asked me if I could pass her the "green" milk, wanting the skimmed milk that comes in cartons with green coloured caps.

Me: "No, we've only got the white stuff".

Made my dad proud.

Mine is stuck on 1%

I write dad jokes on the white board in my office break room. Yesterday I wrote this gem up, and got some interesting responses I thought you all might enjoy... (They had to be from a dad.)

• try 2%... Twice the charge, not much more expensive

• does whole milk come with a full charge?

• does that mean skim milk's batteries are dead?

• try cream top extra charged

I was grocery shopping with my parents today and my mum asked me to run and get her skim milk. So I went to the aisle and grabbed the carton that wasn't full cream milk (I wasn't really paying much attention). When I came back she looked at me and said "myknees, this is half-skimmed milk. Isn't there anymore skim milk?"

I then replied to her "Oh, I must have skimmed right past it."

She let out a long sigh and told me to get the milk while I had a sensible chuckle.

We were shopping in the supermarket and he said that we needed milk.

>What colour milk meaning green lid for semi-skimmed, blue for whole milk

>White

Throwing the cows across a lake.

Throwing the cow across a lake.

Throwing the cows across the lake.