"Gloria in Excel sheets Deo"
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︎ Dec 20 2020
0mg?! You gotta be sheeting me Doc!
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︎ Oct 21 2020
When my wife found me playing with my sonβs train set, I was so embarrassed that I threw a bedsheet over it.
I think I managed to cover my tracks.
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︎ Jan 17 2021
Google sheets
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︎ Jul 10 2020
Oh sheet.. look at my S!
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︎ Nov 21 2020
My 6 year old daughter set up a party and led me to the registration sheet. It said "Sine here". Now I am wondering if there is another sheet that says "Cosine there".
Sorry for going on a tangent
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︎ Dec 21 2020
What do you call a paper airplane that can't fly?
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︎ Dec 28 2020
My printer was making music so I checked it out.
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︎ Feb 03 2021
My uncle's friend won the Olympic gold with an epee made from a disposable thin metal sheet often used in cooking...
It was a good aluminum foil
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︎ Nov 05 2020
I started a band called "Blanket"
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︎ Jan 31 2021
A midget escaped from prison by using bed sheets tied together and scaled down the outside wall. He left a note detailing his escape plan, highlighting the prison guards stupidity and incompetence.
The Warden said "he's a little condescending"
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︎ Oct 03 2020
Did I tell you that I excel between the sheets?
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︎ Jul 10 2020
Steel yourself for this one
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︎ Oct 09 2020
Why didnβt the monster laugh at the ghosts joke?
Because he was full of sheet.
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︎ Feb 14 2021
Gloria in Excel sheets Deo
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︎ Dec 21 2019
Double pun : What did the pizza say to the paper?
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︎ Feb 01 2021
I told me son he was a big pile of sheet
It was more of a blanket statement.
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︎ Jun 25 2020
A freak in the sheets.
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︎ Mar 20 2020
Have You Ever Tried to Fold a Fitted Sheet?
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︎ Mar 16 2020
Did you hear about the sheet factory?
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︎ Jun 23 2020
Dryer sheet
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︎ Mar 09 2020
I bought a discount bed sheet off of Facebook.
Turned out to be a sham...
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︎ Jun 01 2020
... in Excel sheet Deo!
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︎ Dec 25 2019
I wanted to try a different method when putting sheets on my bed
But I just made it up as I went along.
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︎ May 09 2020
2 metal workers got married....
It was a beautiful welding.
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︎ Dec 02 2020
I had an employee at the hotel that ironed the bed sheets. I noticed that as the days wore on, the number of sheets ironed was going down.
Her job performance was de-creasing.
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︎ May 14 2020
My girlfriend said that quilts are better than duvets..
I told her she should be careful making blanket statements like that.
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︎ Jun 13 2020
What happened when the ghost asked for a whiskey at his local bar?
The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve spirits here."
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︎ Nov 27 2020
Oh Sheet.
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︎ Dec 30 2018
Someone keeps putting very thin sheet metal around my garden...
They keep foiling my plot!
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︎ Mar 01 2020
I just want to wear a sheet out in public
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︎ Dec 23 2019
Our toddler woke us up, ripping the sheet off our bed last night...
... itβs ok but, we recovered.
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︎ Mar 07 2020
Wow I was a wreck last night -- t-shirt under sweat clothes, under two cotton sheets, under a polypropylene comforter, and a quilt on top of that! I could NOT get warm!
I can't imagine how miserable I'd be if I didn't have that can of Pringles in the cupboard....
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︎ Dec 20 2019
What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
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︎ Dec 22 2020
Why donβt monsters eat ghosts?
Because they taste like sheet
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︎ Oct 29 2020
What do gingerbread men put on their beds?
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︎ Dec 23 2020
What does the Gingerbread Man use to make his bed?
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︎ Dec 15 2020
Why can't ghosts have children?
they have Hallow-weenies!
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︎ Oct 09 2020
My pet viper swallowed a sheet of window glass causing the snake severe physical discomfort.
It was a real pane in the asp.
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︎ Dec 20 2019
I watched an interesting documentary about how to fasten two sheets of metal together.
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︎ Aug 21 2019
I thought that maybe I had a talent for music, so I tried to learn...
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︎ Oct 14 2020
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.
I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.
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︎ Mar 01 2020
Oh sheet.
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︎ Jun 24 2019
I'm way, way too proud of my company's April Fool's bit: YOUcalyptusβ’, a brand new brand by Sheets & Gigglesβ’
imgur.com/gallery/JolTuiG
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︎ Apr 01 2019
Me and my friends are in a band called Duvet...
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︎ Dec 02 2020
Why don't monsters eat ghosts?
Because they taste like sheet..
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︎ Oct 27 2020
Do you know why monsters don't eat ghosts?
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︎ Nov 21 2020
Why donβt monsters eat ghosts?
Because they taste like sheet
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︎ Nov 03 2020
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