45 Hilarious Sham Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

I've stopped paying $6 for sham poo

After all, I make my own DIY genuine poo every morning.

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👤︎ u/berninicaco3

📅︎ Oct 27 2020

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If sham means something's fake

Then is shampoo bullshit?

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👤︎ u/JustinTimeCuber

📅︎ May 25 2019

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The substance you wash your hair with isn’t made from real feces, it’s fake. You could say it’s sham poo.

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👤︎ u/idkwhatevsqwert

📅︎ Jul 13 2019

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What do you call a fake stone in Ireland? A Sham Rock!

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

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👤︎ u/Conrad273

📅︎ Mar 17 2019

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If I washed my hair with fake shit, would it still be considered sham poo?

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👤︎ u/Sycsa

📅︎ Apr 27 2018

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What do you call it when you wipe your derrier with a Sham Wow?

Shampoo

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👤︎ u/3ternalz

📅︎ Sep 15 2016

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What is the scientific term for shampoo?

Sham-fecal matter.

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👤︎ u/Bbew_Mot

📅︎ May 02 2021

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What does a person who fakes injuries like to drink?

Champagne!

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👤︎ u/Boofaka

📅︎ Nov 22 2020

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I bought an imitation diamond engagement ring to propose to my Irish girlfriend on St Patrick's day. I just hope she doesn't notice..

..the sham rock.

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👤︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2

📅︎ Mar 16 2021

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Which alcoholic drink can give you the illusion that you're hurt?

Sham-pain

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👤︎ u/mitiamedved

📅︎ Mar 17 2021

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The other day, I bought some decorative pillow cases from a sketchy website.

Turns out it was all just a sham.

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👤︎ u/Ember82O

📅︎ Mar 27 2021

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I painted a four leaf clover on my wife's foam stones ...

Because they are SHAM-rocks!

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👤︎ u/scottclarkk7

📅︎ Mar 26 2021

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Fake Music?

What music does a fake Irish singer sing?

Sham-Rock!

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👤︎ u/Fuzed_Canadian

📅︎ Mar 11 2021

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Did you know that fake poop is good for your hair?

Yeah, its called sham poo.

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👤︎ u/HypotheticalRealist

📅︎ Feb 13 2021

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Just had a dealer try to sell me a piece of stone he said was from Ireland and kissed by St Patrick. When I looked underneath it said 'Made in China.'

Obviously a sham rock.

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👤︎ u/Rav4xle

📅︎ Oct 15 2020

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A group of leprechauns was recently busted for selling fake granite

Yeah, they were sham rocks.

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👤︎ u/zamoose

📅︎ Jul 17 2020

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What do you get if you fill a shampoo bottle with chocolate sauce?

Sham poo.

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👤︎ u/KlydesHail

📅︎ Sep 20 2020

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What's the best way to clean up fake shit?

Sham Poo

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👤︎ u/BadA55Name

📅︎ Sep 12 2020

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If you think about it, we all put fake excrement in our hair

Sham-poo

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👤︎ u/AJ-Naka-Zayn-Owens

📅︎ Jul 09 2020

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Just bought a diamond ring for the Wife from a green Leprechaun. I dunno...

...Think I was sold a sham rock.

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👤︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2

📅︎ Jul 03 2020

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I read you can buy half a pillowcase down at Bed Bath and Beyond!

Turns out it was a total sham

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👤︎ u/Guru_in_flannel

📅︎ Jul 26 2020

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I threw a fake plastic turd at my wife's head while she was in the shower.

Maybe now she'll stop complaining that she's out of sham poo.

👍︎ 3k

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👤︎ u/rambos_left_bicep

📅︎ Feb 14 2017

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I bought a discount bed sheet off of Facebook.

Turned out to be a sham...

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👤︎ u/Grimstache

📅︎ Jun 01 2020

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The blarney stone has lost its power

Now it's just a sham rock

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👤︎ u/Lost_in_Thought

📅︎ Mar 17 2020

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My wife has started keeping a dry-erase board labeled 'Grocery List' on the fridge, so I filled it in while she was gone this morning.

Kroger
Wal-Mart
Lucky's
Whole Foods
Winn Dixie

etc, etc

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👤︎ u/Chambadon

📅︎ Jan 07 2015

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Why is just farting when you think you have to crap like a hair care product?

They're both sham-poo

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👤︎ u/earthwulf

📅︎ Mar 20 2020

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Shampoo

This morning my girlfriend was telling me about her new shampoo, that comes without additives and sulfates and all that jazz.

GF: It's called "no poo" shampoo

Me: Sounds like a bit of a sham to me

She didn't get it.

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👤︎ u/ENGERLUND

📅︎ Feb 07 2014

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That’s a nice ham you’ve got there...

It’d be a shame if someone put an ‘s’ at the front and an ‘e’ at the end...

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👤︎ u/madazzahatter

📅︎ Mar 07 2018

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I was on a roll last night.

My family was having a burger night and I improvised some groaners:

Q - How does it sound when your cousin drives an ambulance?
A - Neeeenaaaaa-neeeeenaaaaa! (There is a cousin called Nina)
Q - How do you know when your cousin is coming to visit?
A - they ring the Issa-belle! (Yip, you guessed it there is a cousin called Issabelle)

Q - What does a dinosaur say to offer you a hot drink?
A - Would you like some tea, Rex? (Hate to over explain and ruin the joke but just in case - Rex )

Then during bathtime:

Q - When a crab goes to jail where do they lock him up?
A - A jail shell. (there was a decorative jar of shells there which I used as a muse for this piece)

Q - How does a daddy cow clean himself at night?
A - In a bub-bull bath. (Just came to me)

Q - What does an astronaut use in the bath?
A - A space cloth. (this one didn't really land but I stand by it)

Q - What do you use to wash your hair in the toilet?
A - Sham-poo (low hanging fruit but this one absolutely killed)

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👤︎ u/dat_asthma

📅︎ Oct 13 2019

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You know what you call a fake cow right?

A Sham-moo

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👤︎ u/Satisfied_I_Wander

📅︎ Jun 25 2019

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Boycott shampoo!!!

Demand real poo.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Jan 17 2018

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Im upset about this quilt set I bought.

I thought it came with a pillow case, but it was a sham.

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👤︎ u/The_Comanch3

📅︎ Jul 28 2019

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I saw an ad yesterday for a free luxury pillowcase.

It was just a sham.

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👤︎ u/IBreakForFunyuns

📅︎ Jan 18 2019

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How is fake dog crap like Head&Shoulders?

They're both sham-poo.

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👤︎ u/copycat042

📅︎ Mar 06 2019

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My wife said she wants to buy a fancy pillowcase at the flea market

I told her careful it might be a sham

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👤︎ u/wenzdaynighter

📅︎ Dec 13 2018

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Getting the bedding down

So, short version of a long story... We lost our home in the Paradise, CA Camp Fire Nov 8, 2018. My wife was on the phone with our daughter who is in college, discussing new bedding for the new house.

They had been at it for quite a while, when I said, "Duvet have anything you like? It would be a sham if they didn't..."

Silence on the phone, then, "dad, just stop."

"Ok," I said, "Just get everything down that you like."

Sigh....

One of my better moments as a dad!

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👤︎ u/Divinepyramid

📅︎ Mar 06 2019

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It would be a shame if I

add an "e" into sham.

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👤︎ u/Future_Banner

📅︎ Mar 13 2018

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Last night a girl invited me to her place for some champagne

It turned out it was real pain

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👤︎ u/command_613

📅︎ Sep 09 2016

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What do you call an infomercial that sounds to good to be true?

Sham Wow!

👍︎ 15

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👤︎ u/USAneedsAJohnson

📅︎ Oct 03 2017

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Some guy just tried to sell me a lucky pillow case.

What a sham!

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👤︎ u/MrBooks72

📅︎ Oct 02 2018

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Soap is not real food

Even if one digests it, one will have sham poo.

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👤︎ u/JAiFauxThe

📅︎ Sep 30 2018

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A salon was fined the other day for using synthetic feces to wash hair...

... they got in trouble for using sham poo.

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👤︎ u/wilkc

📅︎ May 18 2018

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What do you call the fake shit you use to wash your hair?

Sham poo.

👍︎ 4

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👤︎ u/cobblecloth

📅︎ Apr 08 2021

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I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.

It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.

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👤︎ u/DrumSpace

📅︎ Jul 31 2019

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Why is it ok to wash your hair with fake poop?

Because it's just a sham poo

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👤︎ u/Money_fingers

📅︎ Jun 23 2019

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