Shallower Puns

I feel betrayed.

...you have to stop and ask yourself what you’re wading for...

I know he means well.

He said that's a latke ask for!

Because there is no diving.

I hate the deep end of the pool

With only one eye, they have terrible depth perception.

That's why you don't eat Tide Pods.

But I can't be Neither Since I can't Swim!

You are all extremely shallow

Because they are non-reflective.

Depth perception

This is deep

They’re very shallow

Most of the noise is coming from the shallow end.

My father cuts me off and says " 'Well' Now that's a deep subject"

But they're out of "The Shallows" now

Here is a screenshot. Me and my girlfriend were texting each other:

Her: One day I do want to try having sex with a girl just to see what it's like, but I think I'm just really open minded about it. Or I'm pansexual which my dad thinks I am.

Me: -I send her a picture of a frying pan- So does this turn you on? I knew you liked cooking, but I didn't know they had a word for it.

Her: I'm gonna kill you -_-

"Gee Rich...I guess I must have forgotten to pay you your allowance on monday. That;s the only reason I can think of you needing money on friday."

"Well.."

"Gone?"

"Well..."

"That's an extremely deep subject for a boy with such a shallow mind,"

I asked my son (3) what he was eating, and he says "Ed a mommy" (Edamame).

I of course respond with "No, that's da mommy!" and point to my wife.

That was terrible, So I set up a much better one. I told my wife that our friend Kevin had recently had a girlfriend, but he broke up with her when he found out she was missing three toes. She was shocked that Kevin would be so shallow.

I told her, "Didn't you know Kevin was Lack Toes Intolerant?" The kids did not understand why we were laughing so hard. I think my wife wanted to throw something at me.

I love terrible jokes.

It’s a deep subject.

Deep Subject.