A list of puns related to "Senile Plaques"
Imagine an obese man returning home from work. He uses an app to order transportation. On the way, he uses another app to order pizza. It should be home by the time he gets there. He feels a slight pain in his chest, but ignores it.
After getting home he plops down on the couch and turns on his PlayStation. He pulls up his phone to browse social media while the game boots up. After all, he doesnβt have the patience required to wait 30 seconds.
Speaking of which, he begins wondering why his food is taking so long. As he does, the bell rings. He begrudgingly gets up, wishing that there was an app to get the food right in front of him, so that he wouldnβt have to walk all of 20 feet to get the door. Another pang in his chest goes ignored as his pulse shoots up.
He finally gets the food and walks back towards his couch. On the way he looks out the window and sees a garden, with children playing and families having picnics. When was the last time he had been outside? With a feeling of guilt as slight as the chest pain, he pulls the curtains, blocking the outside world. Sunlight? Exercise? Those are things of the past. Out of sight, out of mind.
We live in an age of accessibility and on-hand entertainment, where SB (sedentary behavior) is becoming not just prevalent, but the norm. And the physical health consequences are severe, to say the least.
A prominent Pakistani cardiologist had this to say at theΒ 50th Cardiocon of the Pakistan Cardiac Society in Karachi:
βThe youngest patient with heart attack brought to the NICVD was a 17-year-old boy who had the MI (heart attack) due to heavy smoking and obesity. A large number of people between the age of 25-40 years are now having heart attacks in Karachi and the rest of the country due to a sedentary lifestyle and other risk factors,β
The article further states that the prevalence of diabetes has upped by 150% in the last two years! And this is just the situation in Pakistan, where people still arenβt as deeply drenched in SB as in the West.
But how does a sedentary lifestyle lead to increased risk of a heart attack?
Almost every tissue in our body requires blood flow in order to acquire nutrients. The more tissue we have (such as in obese people), the more blood flow we require, which causes the heart to compensate by pumping harder. This leads to hypertension (increased blood pressure) and a gradually weakening heart.
This blood chronically flowing at high pressure has a tendency to damage arteries. The f
... keep reading on reddit β‘This article was overlooked for some reason by whoever put together the various (incomplete) Magazine Article Collections back in the 1990's. As a result it never got OCR processing, and has never been touched by Google other than their work scanning the actual pages of the original magazine.
It includes direct content from Carlos, Taisha, Florinda, and the Chacmools...at three different workshops and seminars from 1993-1995 (1996?), via Holly Hammond, one of the editors at Yoga Journal.
===========================
Yoga Journal - December 1995
Carlos Castaneda's Tensegrity
The energy-gathering movements taught by Yaqui sorcerer don Juan Matus are now being presented publicly by Carlos Castaneda and company.
Our intrepid reporter was on the scene and brings back the story on honing the energy body the warrior's way.
By Holly Hammond
It's a Friday evening in spring at the Ritz-Carlton Hotel, a grand resort in the old style commanding vast vistas on the secluded coast of northwest Maui. Inland from the hotel, the land rises to pineapple fields and the craters of Maui's upcountry. To the north, lush tropical gardens surround lighted swimming pools falling in tiers, which end in lawns that roll down to the sea. A luau is underway this balmy night on one of the hotel's stone terraces, a party for the "top producers of 3M Corporation. Lit by the torches, a Hawaiian trio plays "Aloha Oe," and four children in grass skirts dance traditional dances while well-heeled American couples clink the ice in their drinks and take video footage. In the sumptuous lobbies, which reek of expensive per fume, Japanese businessmen cluster expectantly around their guides. I am amazed to find myself in such layish surroundings: They seem an unlikely setting for a workshop in "Carlos Castaneda's Tensegrity." Then I wander out onto the lawns and down to the ocean. There, strolling in the half light, I notice a marker, beyond which is a hillock in the lawn. The plaque says this is holy ground I'm treading, the spot chosen by Maui's ancient royal family to bury their dead. Things are not always what they seem.
Soon I'm sitting in the hotel ballroom with 250 others waiting more or less patiently, entertained by turgid new-age music. There has been a delay in be ginning the evening's events, because the presenters a
... keep reading on reddit β‘Do your worst!
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies π
It really does, I swear!
Theyβre on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
When I got home, they were still there.
I won't be doing that today!
Buenosdillas
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
Itβs pronounced βNoel.β
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
French/Finnish art
Country/Canadian rap
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Why
Bob
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! π Thank you for the awards.
Just to clarify, 12345678
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
βBOOMβ?!
free
Because his Visa didnβt work.
Nothing, it just waved
"That's what they're fighting about."
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