Picking up my friend for work...he messaged me sayin he'd be right out, he was fixin' coffee...

So i asked "how'd it break?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/l33fty
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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I ain’t sayin she a gold digger

but she did migrate to California in 1849.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cjborange
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
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what if I told you that cowboy clothes is just a fancy way of sayin ranch dressing?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bealosaurus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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DBZ anyone? just sayin imgur.com/0u1Kv
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2011
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Now I ain't sayin she a gold digger....

But she did move to California in 1847!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pokeysrevenge
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2015
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Shamelessly stolen on twitter, no clue about who did that. I have to dig something here...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/goelin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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My 7 year old came up with a dad joke: What do Zombie Cows say?

"Grains"

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Apollyon82
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
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Another very punny joke!

Bully: look at this kid! he’s a shrimp! Other Kid: I Sea what your sayin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Matt4307
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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A friend with benefits who bakes bread could be called a cumpanion.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/peckerbrown
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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Microsoft reeeeally missed an opportunity when they didn't call their antivirus "Windows Cleaner"

...just sayin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/i_pee_in_the_sink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2014
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What do you call a quote from dragonballZ?

a super sayin'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Disipointpanda
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2014
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Got a good kick out of this in the Sopranos

Tony Soprano: So your father tells me you're takin' up astronomy in college. Kevin Bompensiero: No, business. Tony Soprano: Well, how come he keeps sayin' you're takin' up space in school?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/m_bia
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2014
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Shopping at Costco today...

Shopping with son today, walking past cheese section at Costco store (a warehouse style grocery chain that sells mainly items in bulk, at discount).

Son sees a rather large multi-pack of cheese, "Wow, look at all that Brie!"

"Whoa, that's so much, it's unBRIElieveable!"

At least he smiled after facepalming. Apologies to my son, but it needed sayin'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaulyMcBee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2014
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Honey-do

I worked at a grocery store and handed out samples. One day I was tasked with sampling melons. One of which was a honey-do. Halfway into my shift an old man walks up with his wife and says

Oldman:"Mmm honey-do i'm used to my wife always sayin honey don't."

This was followed by a chuckle, and a less than pleased wife.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sk4t4nic
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2015
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