Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because, pepper water makes them sneeze.
What’s the difference between a molecule of table salt and the late Sean Connery?
One has an ionic bond. The other was the iconic Bond.
I was jogging and got sprayed by a salting truck
I called the police station and said I was assaulted.
My therapist said the best treatment for depression is to vigorously rub salt into my skin, to draw out excess moisture....
Who does Mr. Salt go to when he has back pain?
So proud of my daughter for this one... "Why do fishes swim in salt water?"
Because pepper would make them sneeze!
She's six. She's awesome.
EDIT: Woo highest rated post, thanks to my kid. Also, I never said she wrote it! She just told it to me. So there.
Torque appropriated circumstances call for -in kind- repeat applied force when concerned with most of yer dried and salted pork products and jovial responses.
A salt with a deadly weapon!
Lawyer - Is it crime to throw salt in someone's eyes?
Judge - Yes, that's assault!
Lawyer - I know it's a salt but is it a crime?
WARNING: There is an email going around offering processed pork, Gelatin and salt in a can. If you get this email DO NOT OPEN
Son: There's no salt on this. Mom: Well, it's hard to see salt.
Dad: But can you table salt?
Mom: I don't know, let's discuss that next time.
Edit: To be honest I'm a little salty about the bland reaction this dad/mom joke got :)
What did the angry salt say to the rest of the spices?
I was supposed to go to a salt an pepa concert last week
Unfortunately, due to lockdown, they had to push it
Wife: We are out of salt.
What do you call a gun made of Sodium Chloride?
I work in a kitchen and my colleague threw a satchet of salt at me and said
You’ve just been a-salted
Son, take the bible with a grain of salt...
... hence, don't take it as gospel.
Next time you see a packet of salt at a restaurant, throw it at your friend.
Then say, “That’s a salt!”
My Dad just said this one in the drive-thru not 2 minutes ago
First Window staffer, who takes the payment: "Hi, it's $7.30 (said like 'seven-thirty')
My Father: "No it's not, it's only 1 o' clock"
I lived in Salt Lake Utah
That makes me a SLUT resident
Don’t ever make Sodium angry.
Otherwise you’ll be charged with aggravating a salt.
Doctor said I’m at risk of having a heart attack due to high sodium intake.
I took what he said with a grain of salt.
How did salt’s friend survive the apocalypse
Hey son, today I told your science teacher a joke about salt, and she said...
Why did the popcorn want to press charges?
Because it was a-salt-ed!
How many grains of salt are in a salt shaker.
What type of salt has the best vision?
My Grandfather survived Pepper spray and Mustard gas attacks in two wars...
... And came home to us a seasoned Veteran.
Edit : To use a war pun.. " Wow, this really blew up " ...Thanks to all for contributing to this bit of fun. I feel like Granddad now with all the medals.
Don't do it
What happened when Pepper made Salt angry?
- Pepper was charged with aggravated assault. XD
Damn this pink salt is looking real good today.
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
I was supposed to go to a salt n pepa concert next week
Unfortunately, due to the coronavirus they had to push it
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because they would sneeze in pepper water!
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze
Your honor is it illegal to throw sodium chloride in someone's eyes?
Judge: it's assault
I know it's a salt, is it a crime though?
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