Look at that guy Russian to kill the joke
π︎ 20
π
︎ Jul 04 2019
When a russian nesting doll makes a dad joke, nobody gets it.
Because they're all inside jokes.
π︎ 35
π
︎ Mar 05 2019
Why did the Russian Leader laugh at the bad joke?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 05 2019
Russian dad joke
boy is getting ready for summer camp
mother: I packed butter, bread, and 1kg of nails
son: but why?
mother: what do you mean why? put the butter on the bread and eat it.
son: ok, but what about the nails?
mother: don't worry, I already packed them!
π︎ 55
π
︎ Oct 07 2013
Russian joke
"Hey dad I met a new exchange student today at school, he's Russian"
"Where to?"
π︎ 88
π
︎ Dec 01 2013
I made a Russian dad joke today
So I asked my Russian friend what the Ρ conjugation for Ρ
ΠΎΡΠ΅ΡΡ is, to which he replied Ρ
ΠΎΡΡ which is pronounced like ho-choo and I then said "bless you."
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 29 2017
A Russian comedian told jokes about Putin
The material wasn't good, but the execution was great
π︎ 10
π
︎ Mar 02 2022
Did you hear about the Russian comedian who made jokes about Putin?
His jokes were funny but i didn't love his execution.
π︎ 30
π
︎ Dec 18 2021
Donβt use a capital R when spelling russia
Sanctions donβt permit capitalization there
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Apr 17 2022
My 4 year old was taking her sweet time getting ready for bed and I said to her "quit stallin!"
She said to me, "I'm not stallin"
And I replied, "well, you might be right about that because you're certainly not Russian.'
I got nothing... no laughs, even after I thoroughly explained it to her. My daughter has no sense of humor.
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Mar 22 2022
Statistics show that Russian roulette is actually a popular game
1 in 6 people find it mind blowing.
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Apr 01 2022
Why does Russia put the letter Z on all their stuff?
Because they'd rather not be called "Not Z's"
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Mar 07 2022
My brother just broke the record by downing 22 Russian jets in Ukraine
Heβll forever be remembered as the worst mechanic in the Russian Air Force
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Mar 03 2022
Russian chemist Dmitri Mendeleev loved to tell dad jokes...
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 26 2021
Why does Norway's Navy have barcodes on their ships?
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Mar 11 2022
Why is Putin in such a hurry to get into Ukraine?
Because he's always Russian.
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Feb 24 2022
Found this gold on r/dadjokes
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Mar 03 2022
McDonald's has paused operations in Russia.
They've successfully established a No Fry Zone.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Mar 09 2022
The Russian soldiers begged the Ukranian judge not to send them to prison...
The judge replied "Crimea River"
π︎ 66
π
︎ May 11 2022
Justin Timberlake announced that he will be joining the war efforts in Ukraine.
Itβs reported he will be stationed somewhere along the Crimea River.
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Mar 01 2022
If Korean pop is shortened to Kpop and Korean Drama is Kdrama...
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Jan 09 2022
My wife says the salads I make tend to be a bit on the βdryβ side.
Itβs definitely something that needs addressing.
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Jan 23 2022
If youβre Russian going into the restroom, and youβre Finnish when you leaveβ¦ what are you when youβre in the restroom?
π︎ 757
π
︎ Jan 19 2022
WWII Russian jokes are getting old
They just donβt stop coming
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 12 2020
We should have been able to predict the fall of the Soviet Union a lot sooner.
There were a lot of red flags.
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Dec 19 2021
You wouldnβt expect a country with a name like Russia to invade so slowly. Itβs like theyβre Stalin.
My jokes are always bad, Iβm always Putin my foot in my mouth.
π︎ 162
π
︎ Feb 17 2022
Two fish in a tank -
One of them turns to the other and says
"Do you know how to drive this thing?"
π︎ 21
π
︎ Mar 20 2022
Iβm really not a fan of Russian dolls.
Theyβre so full of themselves.
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Nov 20 2021
Are we Russian into WW3?
Or am I Putin the blame on the wrong dudez?
π︎ 25
π
︎ Feb 24 2022
Americans, what are the 2 places in the house that you are no longer American?
In the bathroom, because then European, and in the hallway on the way to the bathroom because then you're Russian
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Aug 09 2021
I once dated a communist girl but I realised it was a mistake when she invited me over.
There were red flags everywhere!
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Aug 05 2021
I hate it when people tell me " you are not russian so why are you rushing"
I allways answer with "you are not Russian eaither so why you Stalin"
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Oct 01 2021
Russian jokes never make me laugh
Because I don't understand their Tsarcasm
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 01 2019
Horrible and funny, Funeral Home AS - Poland
We are sorry that we did not speak, we are helping in Kiev to prepare 150,000 beds for Russian soldiers. Funeral Home AS, Bytom - Poland.
This is authentic joke from their webpage
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 04 2022
I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years because I found out she was a communist.
I should have known, there were red flags everywhere.
π︎ 22k
π
︎ Aug 07 2020
If pronouncing all my "V"s like "B"s, makes me sound Russian...
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Sep 13 2020
What do you call a native Alaskan eye doctor??
An Optical Aleutian
Iβll see myself out...
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
Rudolph the red and his wife were on a stroll. Rudolph the red looked up at the sky and said "we should hurry up, there is a storm comming". So his wife asked "how do u know" and he replied...
"Rudolph the red knows rain dear"
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Oct 09 2020
Why can't blind people eat fish?
π︎ 581
π
︎ Dec 07 2020
I have a russian friend whoβs a sound engineer.
And a Czech one too, and a Czech one too.
Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!
π︎ 15k
π
︎ Aug 23 2019
Why did Stalin only write in lower case?
He was afraid of Capitalism.
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Jan 14 2020
What do you call Russian dad jokes?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 19 2015
If pronouncing my Bβs as Vβs makes me sound russian...Then soviet.
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Aug 25 2019
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