After watching me read “War and Peace”, my son asked me, “Dad, why is the book so thick?”

Me: Well, it’s ......a long story.

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📅︎ May 20 2020
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Her: Why is it that you have a copy of “War and Peace sitting on the table for days?”

Me: It’s a long story.

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📅︎ Sep 21 2018
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I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in 20 minutes.

Sure its only three words, but for me that's an improvement.

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👤︎ u/hornwalker
📅︎ Apr 17 2015
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Vulture Problems (and apologies to Kansas)

The Prince of the vultures had always been a rebel, but he surprised everyone when he announced he was going to be a vegetarian. And nobody expected this to divide the vulture kingdom, with nearly half the vultures supporting the Prince's choice. Tempers flared, and civil war was brewing when the Prince burst into the King's chambers.

"Father," he cried, "I never meant to cause this. I'll do anything you say to reunite the kingdom. Please, Father, what should I eat?"

The King set a plate of roadkill in front of the Prince, and said "Carrion, my wayward son. There'll be peace when you are done."

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👤︎ u/rjsquirrel
📅︎ Jan 12 2021
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Dad: What's your favorite book?

Me: War and Peace.

Dad: No, you can only choose one.

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👤︎ u/RayInRed
📅︎ Apr 20 2020
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