Rushed Puns

A list of puns related to "Rushed"

My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."

"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"

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👤︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
📅︎ Dec 18 2020
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I let my cat outside today but when I started listening to Daft Punk she rushed back inside

I guess she is more of a house cat

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👤︎ u/Limehulio
📅︎ Aug 27 2020
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My buddy was rushed into the hospital after showing decorticate posturing. He woke up and I asked him if he remembered anything.

He said it felt really apalling

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👤︎ u/Onechordbassist
📅︎ Nov 02 2020
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I frantically rushed to the computer service center to repair my storage device before it died

It was a hard drive

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👤︎ u/Chronoz42
📅︎ Aug 29 2020
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What did the spice say to the chicken when it was being rushed out the door?

I’m cumin, I’m cumin!

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👤︎ u/pineconeassbitch
📅︎ Sep 08 2020
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I rushed to my local hospital only to find that it had been converted into a library

Talk about having to suffer in silence

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👤︎ u/emu404
📅︎ Dec 01 2019
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When I heard about the big fight, I rushed to the arena in anticipation...

Only to be let down by the fact that the event turned out to be two people arguing about the movie “Big.”

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👤︎ u/jlionbad
📅︎ May 26 2020
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I just got word my ex wife was rushed to the ER and tested positive for COVID-19!

So I guess she wasn’t sick of me?

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👤︎ u/ah20250
📅︎ Apr 23 2020
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A woman tripped and fell off the balcony and had been cut in half. Still conscious, she was quickly rushed to the hospital...

Manager: what did the doctor say to the woman’s family? Me: after thinking ...yea I’m not sure Manager: “she was ALL RIGHT.” Me: oh, I thought you were going to say “There’s nothing LEFT.” The manager at work got a kick out of that because that was an answer he has never gotten before lol figured I’d post it here.

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👤︎ u/Slammin_Salmon94
📅︎ Apr 27 2020
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A guy rushed past me at the post office to deliver 25 different letters

He skipped the Q.

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👤︎ u/Max-Volume
📅︎ Jul 22 2019
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I work in a hospital. Yesterday a smurf got shot and was rushed into ICU.

The whole time they were yelling blue murder.

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👤︎ u/SuperDave-1
📅︎ Mar 25 2020
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I saw that Lady Gaga was about to faint and rushed to her help.

She said, "I need a strong cool breeze on my face."

I said, "I'm sorry but I can't help you. I'm just not a big fan."

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👤︎ u/thkoog
📅︎ Nov 14 2019
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Excuse me, doctor - my husband was rushed in with violent spasms in his buttocks. Where is he please?

ICU baby, shaking that ass

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👤︎ u/CPike90
📅︎ Apr 17 2019
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I’ve been trying to find an herbal remedy to keep me from feeling rushed...

...turns out I just need more Thyme.

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👤︎ u/tehmayormccheese
📅︎ Sep 08 2019
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A man rushed to dial 911 one evening when his wife displayed early signs of a stroke.

"Don't worry, sir," reassured the dispatcher. "Emergency services are on their way. Just try to remain calm and stay with her until they arrive."

"How long will the ambulance be?" the man asked.

"About eighteen feet," replied the dispatcher.

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👤︎ u/Muchacho1994
📅︎ Jul 03 2019
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My dad was rushed to the hospital after using viagra

He had a hard attack

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👤︎ u/AntidoteYYMBR
📅︎ May 13 2018
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They rushed me into the hospital with all my limbs detached, screaming in pain, but the doctor took one look at me and rolled his eyes.

“Pull yourself together.”

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👤︎ u/Jollyben
📅︎ Apr 23 2019
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My daughter had an accident, and i rushed to the hospital to see if she was alright. The doctor told me that she is on surgery right now and i have to be patient.

I told him : My daughter is the patient, now answer my question please.

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👤︎ u/gujd97
📅︎ Mar 10 2019
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A man was rushed to the emergency room after several small plastic model horses were inserted in his rectum.

The doctors are now reporting his condition as "stable".

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👤︎ u/gurana
📅︎ Apr 21 2018
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Breaking news: guy at the salt mine rushed to hospital for knee injury

Turns out he tore N aCl

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👤︎ u/Ganders81
📅︎ Dec 03 2017
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So, someone posted something on /r/movies about Val Kilmer being rushed to hospital recently with a throat tumor.....

.....and I posted "Is it Valignant?".....which was then followed by the most downvotes I've ever had the pleasure of experiencing. Lesson learned: keep my puns to this subreddit only!

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👤︎ u/ultra-saurus
📅︎ Jan 31 2015
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My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."

"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"

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👤︎ u/madazzahatter
📅︎ Jun 22 2020
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A guy rushed past me at the post office to deliver 25 different letters...

He skipped the Q.

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👤︎ u/The_improviser
📅︎ Jan 25 2020
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