Roof Shingle Puns

A list of puns related to "Roof Shingle"

A little moron and a big moron were shingling a steep roof when suddenly the scaffolding collapsed. They both slid down the roof and stopped at the very edge, and then one fell off. Which one?

The big moron. The other one was a little more on.

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👤︎ u/big_macaroons
📅︎ Oct 12 2020
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My neighbor shingled my roof for free

He said it was on the house

👍︎ 511
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👤︎ u/michaelveyrocks
📅︎ Feb 06 2020
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Roofing a new barn with my daughter. "Hey, you know that song about women roofers?" (No....) "Yeah you do - Shingle Ladies."

It's on the album "The Roof is For Hire"

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👤︎ u/Sunstoned1
📅︎ Dec 29 2019
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True story, just happened, proud of myself: Dog starts barking furiously out of nowhere. Come to the door to see she's startled a pair of guys from a roofing company who've come to fix a hole where squirrels are getting in.

"Sorry about her. Her specialty is also roofing."

Blank stares. My talents are so wasted without kids.

👍︎ 16k
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👤︎ u/jewyouevenlift
📅︎ Apr 14 2021
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how much does a roof cost ?

nothing - it’s on the house

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👤︎ u/romnewz
📅︎ Apr 20 2021
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My Girlfriend's Dad Said This While Shingling The Roof

"This roof is poison. One drop will kill me!"

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👤︎ u/zippedlightning
📅︎ Jan 03 2014
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My wife and 2yo were just watching Paw Patrol. There is a cow mooing into a cell phone to video chat with the team to ask for help for a cat stuck on the roof.

I told my wife "That cat would have way more grip on roof shingles and I expect more I realism from talking cartoon cows. This is "UDDERLY" ridiculous."

She may have buried her head and avoided eye contact for a bit. I was proud.

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👤︎ u/trich101
📅︎ Aug 23 2020
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My dog initially barked when the people installing my shingles started then barked again as they finished...

Re-roofing complete.

*Edit: reworded punchline. I think it might be better said "replacing my shingles" but I cannot for the life of me edit that part...

*ahem* without hacking.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Jan 22 2020
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If you've had a pox on both your houses,

the shingles virus is already on the roof.

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👤︎ u/Twigsnapper
📅︎ Apr 16 2016
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Two Dad Jokes on the way home from dinner

Mom to Grandparents: Have you guys had a lot of problems with shingles? Dad: I sure do, I have them on the roof & Mom: Look at all those rabbits, we could have them for supper Dad: Yea, but what would they bring?

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👤︎ u/Spinnert9
📅︎ Dec 22 2013
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Got my friend yesterday

Me: "What's wrong dude?" Him: "I have Shingles" Me: "Good, my roof needs redone" Him: ..."Ugh"

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👤︎ u/Bluecrabby
📅︎ Jul 23 2014
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my neighbor shingled my roof for free

he said it was on the house

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👤︎ u/michaelveyrocks
📅︎ Oct 30 2019
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