I challenged my son, "Take 4 and subtract 2 from it. What’s left? Rolling his eyes, he sighed, "2." I yelled, NOPE!"
As we were walking down the driveway with the cans, I asked my son, "Did you know there’s no official training for garbage men?" Rolling his eyes, he responded, "No, no I didn't." I continued...
"Seriously, they just pick it up as they go along!"
Barry Allen likes to listen to The Rolling Stones when he workouts
His favorite is “jumpin’ jack flash”
Just rolling it out for ya
What do you call an ex-military rolling around in spices?
Kenny Rodgers ended up in a wheelchair after an accident. While rolling down the side walk, he lost a wheel.
He sung: you picked a fine time to leave me, loose wheel.
If Snoop Dogg dies before pot becomes legal in the US, he will be rolling in his grave.
I always loved The Rolling Stones
I’m just going to keep these puns rolling
Two peanuts rolling down the hill
One of them was assaulted.
"I'm so sorry, my dog ate my homework." Rolling his eyes, my computer science professor shot back, "Really?! Your dog ate your coding assignment?"
"Well, to be perfectly honest, it did take him a couple bytes."
So I’m rolling through the supermarket and I see these Bare Skin condoms...
And all I can think is, “God please let it be panda”.
I saw a boulder rolling down a hill.
I hired the Rolling Stone dercorators to style my room. They did a terrible job.
They just painted it black. I couldn't get no satisfaction with it.
My vision was light blue walls but I guess I always can't get what I want.
A great suggestion keeps the kelp rolling!
So I was rolling coins from my tip money and placing the rolled up sleeves on each other forming a kind of pyramid shape:
My sister walks up to me and asks: “Are you creating a pyramid scheme?”
With Storm Ciara rolling in I was worried about my pet bunnies out there in the garden.
But it’s fine - I’ve battened down the hutches.
Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill?
Because it ran out of juice
I can't believe my ex wanted the expanse of open rolling infertile land in addition to my trailer home...
She wanted my mansion and moor!
What goes black white, black white, back white? A penguin rolling down a hill. What goes black white, haha, black white, haha?
The penguin that pushed him.
I have some happy childhood memories of my dad putting us inside tires and rolling us downhill.
Those were the Good Years.
A Rolling Stone gathers no moss
What did Romans use to cut pizza before the rolling cutter was invented?
What do you call a cylindrical container full of clowns rolling down the hill?
I beat a guy up with a rolling pin
I sure did straighten him out.
I just bought a home in the rolling hills of Kentucky, where race horses are bred...
The air is clean and the neigh-bors are pretty cool.
I did the Macarena, the Mashed Potato, the Funky Chicken and had my young daughter absolutely rolling over with laughter. My wife had a face like thunder though and hissed…
"Get off my mother's grave, NOW!"
I wrote this while laughing at my daughters eye rolling.
To the tune of Row row row your boat.Roll roll roll your eyes because you are a teen. Your Mother and Father are very dumb and you know everything.
Food truck rolling out puns
Hey, did you hear about the semi that overturned and spilled all the rolling chairs onto the highway for several miles?
It was a widespread case of loose stools.
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall into a ravine on the other side...
...needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
I was thinking of a joke about Sisyphus rolling the boulder up the hill, but then it lost momentum.
But it still has potential.
My dog was rolling around in a blanket, then I came into the room, he ran right towards me
but his hair was sticking up on end, I guess he is ecstatic to see me
What do you call a pen which just stopped rolling?
Why was the Platypus rolling around in money?
Because he was a Billionaire
Ugh, the fog's rolling back in again
I’m terrible at rolling dice.
As we were walking down the driveway with the cans, I asked my son, "Did you know there’s no official training for garbage men?" Rolling his eyes, he responded, "No, no I didn't." I continued...
"Seriously, they just pick it up as they go along!"
As we were walking down the driveway with the cans, I asked my son, "Did you know there’s no official training for garbage men?" Rolling his eyes, he responded, "No, no I didn't." I continued...
"Seriously, they just pick it up as they go along!"
What did Romans use to cut pizza before the rolling cutter was invented?
What did Romans use to cut pizza before the rolling cutter was invented?
What did Romans use to cut pizza before the rolling cutter was invented?
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