Reviewers werenโ€™t very kind to the new Surface Pro X.

Itโ€™s a fanless device.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/geometer2015
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
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Tech reviewers are just waiting for Samsung to release a mediocre new Note device just to say "It's not noteworthy"
๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/fakt_adolf
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My favourite film reviewer is John Williams.

He just loves to score movies

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ShiftyMcShift
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Youtube review pun
๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/fndo84
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Book review: 1 star

I've just finished reading Great Expectations and I have to say I was a little disappointed.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/viWily
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I was asked if I wanted to review my new drop saw.

Mitres well

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/NZn3rd
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A disgruntled employee of an axe throwing establishment was leaving one-star Yelp reviews

Apparently it was a real hatchet job

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/P8ntballz
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TheVengefulKitten
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Bonnie Tyler's new range of biscuits have received good reviews

They're good dunkers, but every now and then they fall apart

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Elbobby89
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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Roses are dead, Violets are dead...

Iโ€™m shit at gardening.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/the_houser
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Sitting around watching the birds crowd around the bird feeder,

My brother says, "Someone must have left a good Yelp review." I said, "Yeah, somebody tweeted about it."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Mama_Bear15
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
"We're here to offer support, not to grill you," they said at my review meeting.

"Like a bra, not a braai"

  • Based on true events. I had to stop myself from blurting that out.

  • Thanks to u/rumbustiousben for reminding me that not everyone knows what a braai is - it's a barbecue in Afrikaans and commonly used as part of English by South Africans

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/wcsoon
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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Why is research more trustworthy if it comes from France?

It's Pierre-reviewed.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/pretzelzetzel
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
After getting a lot of negative reviews due to their rather poor string section, the LAPD Police Band decided to lose all the strings from their performances.

It was finally the long-awaited end of police violins.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/OlaviVirtahepo
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
So I just got back from watching the new Christopher Nolan movie. Here's my short review..

Tenet of ten.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Digitek50
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Orions belt does not have the best reviews in the universe...

...cause it only has a three star rating!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/space0watch
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My gun and vacuum store doesnโ€™t get really good reviews.

It seems to Suck and Blow.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/robindc_93
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 04 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
i was reading Yelp reviews of local mortuaries

found one that was rated cad-average.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/berninicaco3
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A nuclear power plant put up a new sign outside that read, "Post your positive reviews of us on social media!"

They were just fission for compliments.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Really_Schruted_It
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why haven't the aliens visited earth yet?

They read the reviews... only one star

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Tawzeeh
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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I have a medical journal joke

But itโ€™s still under review

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Josentangles
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My dad lost his job at the sausage factory today. They told him at his performance review...

You're the wurst

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/byte_marx
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Thereโ€™s a new Apple service for leaving angry reviews.

iRate.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Punnygeist
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
after the dam failed, the engineer thought he'd lost his job for sure

but at the performance review he was consoled by his boss, "it's all just water under the bridge"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/berninicaco3
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I was reading a book on Helium

I couldn't put it down

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BlankPhotos
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Informative product review
๐Ÿ‘︎ 7k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Sergeant_RL-3
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 15 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Have you heard about the new movie, "Constipation"?

It's not coming out any time soon but early critics are giving it shit reviews.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DiamondChocobos
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why havenโ€™t aliens visited our solar system yet?

They looked at the reviews first...... only 1 star

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/callmekrusty
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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I've been in the market for a new whiteboard, but I don't think I can trust the online reviews.

They all say the product is remarkable.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/this_time_i_mean_it
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
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The moment I learned that โ€œphแปŸโ€ is actually pronounced โ€œfuh,โ€ I knew the time was ripe to write a Google review for my all-time favourite phแปŸ restaurant. (I guess this qualifies more as โ€˜racy wordplayโ€™ than it does โ€˜punnyโ€™?)
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/70M70M
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Just went to a restaraunt on the moon

Wouldn't go again no atmosphere

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Heavenlygazer21
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My review for a hotel run by pigs:

Great hogspitality; 5 stars

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jlionbad
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Asked an Alien why they never visits us.

''bad reviews, only one star''they said.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PlankenSonja
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevorโ€™s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevorsโ€™s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevorโ€™s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasnโ€™t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

โ€œWellโ€ said Jeff, โ€œAs Iโ€™m sure you know the convention comes to town laterโ€.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

โ€œYes of courseโ€ replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ShredderSte
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Bill Nye has a daughter who doesn't believe in science.

Her name is Dee.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ArshmanR
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I think tech YouTubers should be reviewing new shovels when new ones come out.

The technology in those things are ground breaking.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LuferLad
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
An accountant was under review at his firm

He was asked the value of a dozen dozens, to which he promptly replied "132", instead of 144.

He was fired for gross misrepresentation.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/AlduinIsAGeordie
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 17 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My doctor bit my neck and tried to give me a hickey.

1 star review for Dr. Acula

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/VeryLastBison
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a machine that can read books and make reviews about them, but sadly can only detect red font?

An InkRedible machine

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๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Maybe aliens exist but they decided not to come to Earth when they checked the reviews and saw that it only has one star
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Avalon794
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 09 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
We know the effects of second hand smoke are terrible.

Does anyone have peer reviewed studies on the effects of minute hand smoke?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/The_Millenial
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why havenโ€™t aliens visited our solar system?

They looked at our reviews: only 1 star.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 19
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/singh_j
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why don't aliens visit our solar system?

They looked at the reviews, only one star

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/moon1499
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

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