What do you call an insane critic?
What did book critics think of the Communist Manifesto?
They gave it high Marx because it looked at many new Engels.
I had a newly created job as Corporate Critic...
where I could criticize and demean other employees. But the job was eliminated and I was let go when my co-workers complained about my DISS-POSITION.
The art critic had to see a podiatrist.
He was diagnosed with aesthetes foot. (OC)
Critic
A struggling artist gets his first painting in to an art gallery. An art critic approaches him:
“Would you like to hear my professional opinion on your painting?”
“Sure.”
“It's pretty much worthless.”
“I don't mind, you can tell me anyway.”
At the zoo there is a famous hippopotamus critic they named Al. There is only one problem.
A movie about Janitors impressed critics.
Later that year the movie swept the Oscars.
I saw a critic of dramatic musicals pick up some women. He's a smooth opera rater.
I’m a professional critic
A sculpture of an expert art critic could be considered an artificial art official
According to critics of fundamental components of German cuisine
The wurst part is the sausage.
Somewhere, right now, there is a night club where critics are raving. (X-post from r/showerthoughts)
What did the mute film critic say to the blind guy?
At two weeks old, my daughter is already a critic.
Never criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.
That way you are a mile away and you have their shoes.
Do you know what happened to Jack Ma after he criticized the Chinese Government?
You can always give punk rock bands constructive criticism...
They appreciate feedback.
Last night, I got fed up at my wife criticizing my sense of direction.
So I packed my bags and right.
We had a critical issue at work today, the icons on the monitor screen were small
It took us a while to work out a proper resolution
what do you called a website that talked about reading, and also criticized a lot.
The police called me to tell me my wife was in hospital and that she was critical !
What is she complaining about now I said
The comments on the post of a video where a man who flew from Emirates (using hot air balloons) and was found in Oman in a critical condition. I doubt if that video Israel..
The comments on the post of a video where a man who flew from Emirates (using hot air balloons) and was found in Oman in a critical condition. I doubt if that video Israel..
Has anyone seen the new film about fried eggs?
Apparently it's been panned by critics.
Have you heard about the new movie, "Constipation"?
It's not coming out any time soon but early critics are giving it shit reviews.
My daughter just hit me with this over dinner.
We're sitting around having dinner, and my wife isn't feeling great about the cooking. My daughter (6) starts critiquing the sauce, talking about what she doesn't like. I told her that sometime you have to read the room and see whether people want their cooking criticized.
She looks at me and says "Dad, you can't read a room if there are no letters in it" and starts giggling.
I saw the headline “Trump Attacks WHO chief Over Criticisms of U.S. Approach to Coronavirus” and thought...
What the hell did Pete Townshend do?!?
Never criticize your wife’s decisions...
Because you were one of them!
Did you hear about the new corn maze the pumpkin patch?
All the critics agree, it's hay-mazing!
What way does a cyclops wing its eyeliner?
It doesn't matter, because Nobody will criticize them
Probiotics are a critical part of your diet
The health of your digestive system is too important to leave up to amateur biotics
A man is still in critical condition after swallowing $250,000 in large bills
In China, you can criticize every Roman numeral from I to X.
But you can't criticize XI.
I don’t know why my wife criticized me for not stretching after exercising.
She knew I was already knotted up about it.
Did you know the first French Fries weren’t cooked in France?
They were actually cooked in Greece
Did you hear about the runner who was criticized?
He just took it in stride
A condom manufacturer kept getting criticized because its new gimmicks never did anything for women. So they did what any good company would do and went to the most knowledgeable frog in the world for advice. You know what the frog said?
Breaking bad was just another critical meth movement.
I recently switched all the labels on my wife's spice rack....
She hasn't realized it yet, but the thyme is cumin.
Why do they call it a paring knife?
Because it cuts things into two, so now you have a pair.
My 15-year-old had to think about this for a minute... Then he goes "Wait, doesn't every knife do that?" Congratulations, son, that's called critical thinking.
What do you call a boat that doesn't allow criticism?
How did the pig get to hospital?
A movie about janitors wowed critics.
Later that year the movie swept the Oscars.
Before criticizing someone, walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away and have their shoes.
Did you hear about the runner who was criticized?
He just took it in stride
Did you hear about the runner who was criticized?
He just took it in stride
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