Which game was a result of a mind blowing idea?

Russian roulette

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I was anxiously waiting to hear the result of the Worst Bad Habit Awards

It was nail-biting

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alwaysthecold
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My grandpa grew up during the depression, as a result, he never threw anything away.

He died in the war, holding a hand grenade.

πŸ‘︎ 874
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Despite getting A-level results of A, B, B, A

it seems that no employer will take a chance on me.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Joe sure is patient when it comes to waiting for the results of the election

All I hear is Joe Biden his time till the results are finalized!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CalmingVisionary
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What did Trump say when he got his Covid results back?

I aced it!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anddditburns
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
The Senate majority leader refuses to acknowledge the election results.

He’s acting like a real Mitch.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zkck0517
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My cheap noble challenged the election results.

It was a discount viscount recount.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShiftyMcShift
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What were Donald Trump’s COVID-19 test results?

Extremely positive. The most positive, in fact. Everybody’s talking about it. It’s yuuuge. Nobody’s seen anything like it. Sleepy joe never would’ve been able to pull this off.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/taylor5479
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What did Bugs Bunny say when the doctor asked him how he should be contacted with his test results?

WhatsApp doc.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/emu404
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Reddit post that oxidizes sugar and results in a nutty brown flavour?

Karmalization.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Socraticfanboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Google is set to come out with a new browser that manages search results based solely on your DNA

Set to be called the Google Chromosome.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pikindaguy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Can I see the result of my eye test

Probably not

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Yourmomspetfish
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
The result of an art competition...

Is a draw.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/matthewrmshin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
When my kids found that the fall term would be completely online, the result was instant drama and tears.

But now that we had a few drinks, we feel better.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call the kid in class that always demands the teacher give the exam results ASAP?

Markus

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lakkabrah
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I just went the doctors, turns out I’m colourblind

The results came completely out of the purple!

πŸ‘︎ 402
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strange_An0maly
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
We received your test results from the urologist...

Urine for a surprise!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsaSnap
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Picky eater results in epic dad joke from my daughter...

My middle child, who loves rice, declined the yellow rice we offered him because apparently he only likes one type of rice.

Without missing a beat my daughter (11 y/o) exclaimed, "stop being rice-ist."

My job is done, clearly there is no more I can teach her.

πŸ‘︎ 687
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dr_Nik
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I COULD tell you a top secret combination of words which result in the instant death of anyone hearing or reading them..

But then I'd have to kill you.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bermobaron
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Whether you are Democrat or Republican, I think we can all agree on one thing.

The election results have been un-presidented.

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ethanol314
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I was terrified by the results of my blood test

But my doctor just said B positive

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rmlrmlchess
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve been experimenting with attaching various kitchen utensils to my power drill

I got mixed results.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Karrathan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the result of breeding two redhead bakers?

A GingerBreed

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr0u4ker
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Itsy Bitsy Spider β€” Dad version

Use this nursery rhyme to play "scary/gross monster" with your tyke:

"The itsy bitsy spider climbed into Mia's mouth
Down to her ears and crawling in and out!
Out through her nose and tickled with her legs,
She made Mia sneeze her brains to scrambled eggs!

achoo splat bleah"

Substitute $name for Mia.

Spider hand chases while Dad reclines on bed. Tyke busily baits and counterattacks.

I dunno whether this qualifies as a Dad joke, but my wife hated it until she saw how much my daughter liked it. I feel like that fits the spirit of Dadness. For maximum results, send your wife the poem first.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeoLittlebook
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Iowa Results Justin
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/douglasses2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Got a pay rise of $1000 today, effective immediately.

What a grand start to the weekend.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Where's the best place to hide a body?

Page 2 of Google search results.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Amazon delivered my new Ninja professional blender yesterday but I can't tell if I like or not though...

It keeps giving me mixed results.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
We need to discuss your results sir. Please, have a seat.
πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dufosho
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report
3 domesticated Rams are in the kitchen, labelled A, B & C

If you put a pumpkin on ram A, nothing happens. If you put a pumpkin on ram B you get the same result.

But if you put a pumpkin on Ram C it starts knocking things off counters, making a mess and abusing the kitchen staff.

I guess that is what happens when you put a gourd on ram c in the kitchen.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when it takes more than 24 hours to see any election results?

Electile dysfunction.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LiquidSnake13
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Hospital told me my blood test results had been 'lost'

I knew I shouldn't have trusted Dr. Acula

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperDave-1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My NAD test results came back

and it turns out I'm dyslexic

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/invertedparadoxxx
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Scientists have grown vocal chords in a Petrie dish

The results speak for themselves

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFishmanau
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m getting an MRI tomorrow...

They’re testing to see if I have claustrophobia or not.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/youtbuddcody
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Has anyone got the results from the Iowa...

Cau-chaos.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jinx99
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
🚨︎ report
The results of the post-mortem were in, and it was clear the man had been murdered with a plate of mild curry.

A Blunt Force Korma

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KubaKomorebi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Herbal essentials

Noted researcher Rosemary Fuller was involved in a lab accident today. She's working on the theory that herb-based formulas can actually reverse or accelerate the aging process. Parsley, for example, has been shown to cause rapid aging, and recent efforts have shown good results with oregano-based anti-aging serums. Ms Fuller was, unfortunately, standing near a vat of simmering oregano serum when a nearby researcher nudged her and she fell in! It appeared at first that the anti-aging serum would cause her to de-age down to nothing. Now, though, it looks like she'll be all right. The Parsley's aged Rosemary in time.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/berenaltorin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Theresa May is stepping down on June 7th. As a result, the last week of May is the first week of June.
πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrDNL
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I sued the airlines after they lost my luggage

They lost the case

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/minamo99
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report

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